Junie B. Jones Is Captain Field Day - Barbara Park [1]
Mother ruffled my hair. “Don't worry. We'll be there,” she said. “I think Grampa and Grandma Miller might come, too.”
“Hurray!” I said. “Hurray for the whole darned family!”
After that, I ran out of the room. And I called my bestest friend named Grace on the phone.
And wait till you hear this! I didn't even have to look up her number in the phone book! ’Cause I finally got it memorized right in my head!
Its name is 555-5555. And that was a hard number to remember, I tell you. ’Cause I kept forgetting the five.
I pressed the numbers very careful.
“Hello?” said a voice.
I did a frown.
“Grace? What's wrong with your voice? How come you don't sound like yourself today? Do you have a froggie in your throat?”
All of a sudden, I did a gasp.
“Oh no, Grace! You didn't catch a cold, did you? You can't be sick today, Grace! Today is Field Day! And you are the fastest runner in kindergarten! Go tell your daddy that you have to come to school, Grace. Go tell him right now! Go, go, go!”
Just then, the voice talked again.
“This is Grace's daddy,” it said.
I looked at the phone.
“Oh,” I said. “Hello, Mr. Grace. No wonder you don't sound right. ’Cause you are not even Grace, that's why. And so where is she, anyway?”
Pretty soon, that Grace said hello.
“Grace! Grace! It's me. It's Junie B. Jones! I am so glad to hear your voice! You're not sick, are you, Grace? You're still coming to Field Day, right?”
Grace giggled real loud.
“Of course I'm coming to Field Day, silly,” she said. “I have to come to Field Day, remember? I am the fastest runner in kindergarten.”
I did another frown.
“Okay, here's the thing, Grace. You're not actually supposed to brag about yourself like that. My grampa Miller said that is called ‘tooting your own horn.’ And it is not even polite.”
That Grace did a huffy breath at me.
“I am not tooting my horn, Junie B. I'm just saying the truth. We have lots of slow runners in our class, you know. Like Lucille won't run fast because she doesn't like getting sweaty. And you're not exactly speedy yourself, Junie B.”
I sucked in my cheeks at that girl.
“Yeah? So?” I said.
“So I'm going to have to give us a big lead,” she said. “’Cause I'm the only fast one we have.”
I made a grouchy face.
“You just tooted again, Grace,” I said.
“Did not,” she said.
“Did too,” I said.
“Did not.”
“Did too.”
Just then, my mother called me.
“Okey-doke. I've gotta go now, Grace. See ya, friend,” I said.
“See ya, friend,” she said.
After that, we both hanged up. And I skipped to my breakfast very happy.
’Cause a nice conversation always starts the day off right!
That day at school, Room Nine was very excited. We kept laughing and jumping and giggling and shouting.
Me and my bestest friends Grace and Lucille runned and skipped all over the room. ’Cause we had to warm up our muscles for Field Day, that's why!
All of a sudden, my teacher hollered our names.
“Lucille! Junie B.! Grace! Please take your seats right now!”
We stopped real fast.
My teacher's name is Mrs. She has another name, too. But I just like Mrs. and that's all.
“Yes, but we need to keep on skipping,” I said. “’Cause Grace said we have to warm up our muscles for Field Day. If you don't warm up your muscles, your legs will get clams.”
“Clamps,” said Lucille.
“Cramps,” said Grace.
Mrs. smiled a little bit.
“You girls will have plenty of time to warm up outside,” she said. “But right now, we have an important job to do. Right now, we're going to pick a captain for our Field Day team.”
Just then, everyone got excited all over again.
A boy named Meanie Jim waved his hand in my teacher's face.
“Me! Me! Pick me!” he hollered. “I will make a great captain!”
“No, pick me, Teacher!” shouted another boy named Paulie Allen Puffer. “I will be better than him!”
“No! Pick me! I'm the fastest runner in all of kindergarten!” hollered that Grace.
Mrs. sat down in her chair. She crossed her arms and waited for the yelling to stop.
I hurried to her desk speedy quick.
“Mrs.! Mrs.! Guess what? I did not