Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy - Barbara Park [6]
And I skipped to the freezer!
And I grabbed it right off the shelf!
9/My Proudest Honor
Pet Day in Room Nine was very exciting!
There were cages with furry animals. And bowls with fish. Plus also there was a snake. And a hermit crab. And a rooster.
“That rooster is mine,” said that meanie Jim I hate. “He will peck your head off if I tell him to. He will peck it right into a nub.”
I made a sick face. ’Cause a nub does not sound pleasant.
Just then, Lucille skipped over to me.
“Look, Junie B.! Look at my darling riding outfit! See my darling riding hat? And see my darling riding pants? And look, Junie B.! Here’s a picture of my darling pony! And look at my darling riding boots! They are genuine rawhide cowhide!”
I smiled very admiring.
“You are a beaut, Lucille,” I said.
Grace pulled on my arm.
“Junie B.! Junie B.! Come see Slicky! He’s my goldfish, remember? I bought him a brand-new bowl! Come see it! Come see it!”
Just then, my teacher clapped her loud hands together.
“Boys and girls! Everyone needs to sit down right now! What an exciting day we’re going to have in Room Nine today!”
We hurried up and sat.
Mrs. pointed to the pet table in the back of the room.
“Who would like to go first?” she asked. “Who would like to introduce us to their pet?”
“ME!” I shouted. “ME! ME! ME!”
Then I springed right out of my seat.
But Mrs. said sit down to me. And she called on Crybaby William. ’Cause that guy never springs, that’s why.
William went to the pet table.
He pointed to his bullfrog named Wendell.
“I just got him on Saturday,” said William very shy.
Mrs. smiled.
“Well, he certainly is a handsome bullfrog,” she said. “Would you like to take Wendell out of his tank for us, William? Would you like to show the children how to hold a bullfrog?”
Then William’s face got whitish and sickish. And he started sweating a real lot.
That’s how come Mrs. had to put a wet towel on his head. And she said he didn’t have to hold Wendell.
Charlotte went next.
She showed us her bunny named Slippers.
She carried him all around the room. And she let us pet his head.
Slippers smelled like stinky feet.
After Charlotte came Paulie Allen Puffer.
He showed us his parrot named Pirate Pete. Only too bad for Pirate Pete. ’Cause he kept on saying a bad word. And he wouldn’t even stop. And so Mrs. had to send Pirate Pete to the office.
After that, lots of children showed pictures of their dogs and cats.
Plus Jamal Hall showed us his lizard named Gizzard.
And a boy named Ham showed us his hamster named Elvis.
Finally, I raised my hand real calm.
“It’s nice to see you being so polite, Junie B. Would you like to go next?” Mrs. asked. “Did you bring a picture of your dog?”
I shook my head. “No,” I said. “’Cause I didn’t want to bring a picture, remember? I wanted to bring a real actual pet. Only too bad for me. ’Cause Mother said no raccoon. And then my Grandma Helen Miller stoled Sparkle. Plus also I lost my Noodle. And then we couldn’t find the orange juice. And so that’s how come my grampa moved the frozen vegetables. And boom! I saw a pet in there! So I put him in my backpack! And here he is now!”
After that, I quick unzipped my zipper pocket. And I held up my pet for everyone to see.
“FISH STICK!” I said real delighted. “I NAMED HIM FISH STICK BECAUSE HE’S A FISH STICK, OF COURSE!”
Room Nine stared and stared.
Then all of a sudden, everyone laughed at once.
“YOU GOONIE BIRD!” yelled that meanie Jim. “Fish sticks aren’t pets! Fish sticks are dinner!”
I felt very shrinking inside.
“But…but fish sticks have to be pets. Right, Mrs.? Right?” I asked. “’Cause fish sticks are fish. Aren’t they? And fish are pets. Right?”
Mrs. was hiding behind her hands. She peeked at me between her fingers.
“Um…yes. Sure. Of course fish are pets,” she said.
I felt a teeny bit better.
“So then fish sticks can be pets, too. Right?” I said.
Mrs. hided a little while longer.
Then finally, she took a big breath. And she got up from her desk.
“Well, let’s see. Maybe we should see what the dictionary has to say about this,” she