Junk - Melvin Burgess [35]
You could see this other fella thought I was a catch. He was right! I danced up his leg. We were thrashing and skittering, we were both drowned in sweat. There was another slow one and he was all over me. I didn’t care. I thought, It’s just a dance, it’s just fun. I didn’t mind at all. I was wearing this T-shirt and I was so wet with sweat it was sticking to me, and he just couldn’t keep his hands off me. Well, why should he?
I don’t know how long I was dancing for. I could have kept at it forever. But finally he put his hand on my hip and leaned over and said, ‘I’ve got to go now. Why don’t you come home with me?’
Just for a second I almost jumped back. It was stupid but I honestly hadn’t been expecting that. He wasn’t asking me back just for a cup of coffee. The kind of life I’d been living up till then, no one asked you back to their place to sleep with them. It was all parents at home, gropes on the beach.
I looked around, and I thought, You can have a one-night stand every now and then without being a complete slut, right? And I fancied this guy. He had the right look. I mean, I wouldn’t say I wanted to spend my life with him but I was ready for whatever was coming my way.
I looked around. I couldn’t see Tar anywhere.
‘Yeah, okay,’ I said. ‘You wanna go now?’
He nodded and tipped back his drink. I went to get my bag. And there was Tar.
I might have known he wouldn’t go without me. He wasn’t at the table but he’d seen the whole thing and being Tar he wasn’t going to come up and say, ‘You’re mine,’ or, ‘What do you think you’re up to?’ But there he was, showing me he was still here and that he’d waited for me. He was the colour of green cheese.
I looked at him and he looked at me.
‘Someone’s asked me back to their place,’ I told him. He just looked. I made a dash for my bag. I almost made a run for it, then, ‘Here,’ I said, ‘have you got any bus fare?’ I dug about and found some money. I couldn’t get it out quick enough. I just wanted to get away from him. I shoved the money in his hand. He looked at me. Then I got annoyed. I don’t know why. I turned round and shouted at him, ‘You’re not my bloody mother, either!’
Then I went. This bloke – I didn’t even know his name – he was waiting for me with a little crowd. They were the real thing. What they were dressed in probably didn’t cost a tenner all added together and there were about ten of them, girls and boys. I could see them all watching me and watching Tar. They were real nasty punk, you’d think they’d slit your throat but I knew already they weren’t like that. It was just a show, right? Just a style…
One of the girls winked at me.
I got in among them and they closed around me. I walked out of the door into the night air. They all started talking at once, laughing. Someone said something to me and I answered back. I was feeling happy again. I hitched up my bag and stuffed it under my arm. Tar’s present was still in it.
‘Hang on a minute,’ I said.
I ran back into the hall. Tar was still standing at the bar. I ran up to him and grabbed him.
‘Over here,’ I said. I shoved the present into his hands and then I dragged him to the back of the hall and pushed him out of the door at the back and followed. I don’t know why I did it. I was really made up to go with that crowd. They were my crowd, I knew they were my crowd. It was almost like they’d been waiting for me.
We ran off down the road. When I was sure we couldn’t be followed, I stopped him running and we stood there looking at each other.
‘You should have seen your face,’ I told him. Then we started laughing and laughing. As if the whole thing was funny. As if the whole thing was set up as a joke. But if I hadn’t found the present, I would have done it to him.
I regretted