Junk - Melvin Burgess [43]
‘Oh, right…’ Lily beamed. ‘Yeah, that’s really great, everyone should run away, you did the right thing. You did the right thing for Gemma too.’
Tar smiled uncertainly. He’d been told so often that I ought to be at home with Mumsy. Now this amazing naked girl was telling him he was doing everything right.
I said, ‘Yeah, if it wasn’t for Tar, I’d still be at home going mad.’
Lily was sitting there watching Tar and I was worried because I thought she might decide to go against him. I hadn’t got any idea at all which side he was on, but I wanted him to be on the right side, too.
‘Tar had a really bad time at home, he got knocked about by his dad.’
‘Yeah, right… leave the bastard,’ said Rob.
I watched Lily look at him. Then she winked at me and said, ‘I’m gonna get him…’
She jumped up and grabbed him round the neck and pressed herself into him. ‘Well done, man, you broke the door down… brilliant, brilliant, yeah!’
Tar stood there, his hands fluttering nervously around her bare bum. He glanced anxiously at Rob, who stood up and started to pat him on the neck and back.
‘Brilliant. I love you, man, I love you,’ he said.
I said, ‘It’s all right, Tar, it’s all right…’ because he looked so worried about it.
Lily let go and looked around the room. Everyone was staring at us. She scowled. ‘Sod this. Let’s go. Come on… This place is dead!’ She said that in a loud voice so they’d all know what she thought about them.
‘But… all our things are here,’ said Tar.
‘They’ll be here tomorrow. Or we can get you some new things…’
‘That’s right, you put your order in,’ laughed Rob. We all headed for the door. Somewhere out of the corner of my eye I saw Vonny glaring at me. I thought, YEAH! Because I fucking done it! I’d got away… She stood staring like a waxwork while we all trooped off out of the door in a line like a circus.
Chapter Eleven
Tar
It was all going so fast. I was scrabbling and snatching but I wasn’t catching a thing.
Gemma was so excited. Her and Lily, grabbing hold of each other and talking and hugging. None of the things I had mattered to her – the squat, my new friends. She was leaving me behind. They were all on a different wavelength from me. Gemma looked so happy, happier than she ever was with me. But she was a bit hysterical at the same time and that made me think that maybe in the morning she’d want to come back.
It was weird, walking like that through the streets of Bristol. Lily was wearing nothing but this string vest dyed black. I was having kittens, I was sure we were bound to get into a scene or an argument or something. In fact a couple of blokes who’d been drinking started shouting at us but we just walked past them and it was all okay. I began to feel I was being paranoid. I was the only one worried about it.
Gemma hardly noticed me at all, she was so excited, but Lily kept looking back at me and I thought she was wondering, What’s wrong with him? Then they started talking about me. I knew that because they kept shooting little glances at me. That went on for a bit. Then Lily came back and took my arm.
‘Tell me about your mum,’ she said.
I just looked at Gemma. I was appalled. That’s all so private! But Gemma said, ‘Go on, tell her, it’s all right, tell her, tell her…’
So I tried.
It was hard. I didn’t know them. Gemma kept jumping in. She wanted to share everything with Lily, whether it was hers to share or not. She was talking about my parents like they were a pair of monsters and I didn’t like that. My mum – she just can’t help it, it’s not like she does it because she wants to. Even my dad. They just can’t cope. They got stuck and they can’t cope. Probably they should never have had children, that’s all.
Lily kept shushing Gemma. She didn’t say much, she just listened. I didn’t know what she made of it.
Their place was a big old house on City Road, on a corner. Richard had opened it up for them; he must have opened up half the squats in Bristol. They had a flat on the ground floor and this big garden. Inside it was messy, packed with stuff, all sorts, books, clothes, tools.