Junk - Melvin Burgess [73]
The really awful thing was… I mean, the other awful thing was… You see, it was nearly two weeks ago, that. No one has said anything. I know, I know, it’s just a blob of jelly at this point, it isn’t a person or anything. But I still keep thinking of how whatever it is went blue inside her as well. It’d be dreadful if the baby wasn’t all right.
I know I’m being stupid. She wasn’t out for long. It’s very early days. If anything is wrong she’ll probably miscarry or something. But it would be so dreadful. If she has a miscarriage I’ll think about that all the time.
A baby! Imagine…
Chapter Twenty
Rob
We were going to get Dev to drive us down, but that was too risky. He wasn’t giving anything up. Why should he?
I haven’t got a licence, but I’ve been driving since I was a kid. I’m seventeen, I should take the test but… I’ve got better things to do, I suppose.
The cottage belongs to a friend of Wendy. Wendy’s my mum. It’s a sort of holiday let, but this was April and it was a bit early in the season so it was a stroke of luck it was free that week. A whole week. Wendy used to take me there in the winter when I was a kid. At the time I’d been bored but now, when I thought about it, it was perfect. Miles from anywhere, beautiful countryside, no people, no hassle, no problems. They’d all fall in love with it. I was really looking forward to it myself. We drove along and I felt like I was taking them to another world.
We’d finished off the last of our smack before we set out, and we had just a tiny little bit, a dab, just to get us to bed that night so in the morning we could start right from scratch. Bare-brain riding, Lily called it. Riding life with nothing on…
Tar was next to me, map reading. Lily and Gemma and Sal were larking about in the back. It was a great feeling, watching Bristol slip past. Getting on to the M4 and seeing the countryside. I don’t think any of us had seen the countryside for two or three years. Fields, space with no one in it. Trees.
We were leaving everything behind. All the shit. The baby was the real magic spell and Lily was the witch who was making it. What does that make me? A magician, I suppose. It’s a bit like that. Me, a dad. With my magic wand.
Gemma and Sals were really into it. Sal had been a bit doubtful at first, but now she was as keen as anyone. It was a real chance. She and Gems were already talking about having babies themselves.
‘It’s gonna be like a farm at this rate…’ I said. And they all howled with laughter.
I dunno. I know Lils better than any of them, see. This baby. Well, it’s part of life, isn’t it? Whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing, babies, they just happen. But I wasn’t so sure how great it was going to be this time. I kept my mouth shut. Anyway, you never know. You never know with Lils, that much is true.
They had a few spliffs and they were sitting in the back there singing the No More Song.
NO MORE NEEDLES
NO MORE FOR ME
NO MORE NEEDLES
NOW I AM FREE…
And then giggling and nudging one another and beginning another one.
NO MORE PUNTERS
NO MORE FOR ME
NO MORE PUNTERS
‘CAUSE NOW I’M FREE-EE…
The stuff they were giving up. I said, ‘You lot are going to give up your whole lives.’
‘Nah,’ said Lils. ‘That’s the one thing I’m gonna keep, ‘cause I’m too precious, I am…’
Tar was, I dunno, not so up as the others. I was annoyed, because it wasn’t his baby and he could’ve been a bit more supportive. Lily was eyeing him up and I thought, She’s going to have a go at him later on unless he comes round a bit. He was going on about a lot of the stuff they give to babies in hospital – you know, when women go in to give birth they give them this to stop the pain, then they give them that to start the labour, something else to keep the baby breathing – I mean, half the world is drugged up at birth.
I said, ‘I don’t think now’s the time to go on about that,’ because it couldn’t make it any easier for Lily to pack smack in, if he was telling her about all the crap they were going to fill her