Junk - Melvin Burgess [76]
Tar and Lily were having the worst time. Sal and Gemma were sitting together bolstering one another. Gems was saying, ‘I don’t care how bad I feel, I’m not going to crack.’ She’s strong. She meant it. She and Sal they’re two tough ladies.
Lils wouldn’t talk about it. ‘Yeah, I’m all right, you worry about your own head,’ she said. But she wouldn’t look any of us in the eye.
As for Tar, he was looking very fishy. I think the joints were a mistake for him. Tar’s one of those people who don’t take to hash so well. He started to get that anxious look he used to have, and he was going for little walks on his own, which made Lily ask him if he had a little stash of his own, which he denied. I’m fairly sure he didn’t actually, because he was a mess. He started talking about getting some booze.
‘You’d only get a hangover, and then what about tomorrow?’ asked Gemma.
‘I need it, I need it, Gems, you don’t understand,’ he said.
‘You can’t make coming down feel good, you just have to go through it,’ Sally told him. By this time, Sal and me were smirking a bit at one another when one of us said something like that. It was, like, I know you know and you know I know but neither of us is going to say anything. Lils had the cramps by now, so did Gemma. Tar didn’t get the cramps so much, but pretty soon he started throwing up. Whereas me and Sal… well, I was moaning about how foul I felt and so was she. But… well…
Finally, it must have been about four o’clock in the afternoon, Tar said, ‘I’ve had enough of this, I’m going to hitch in and get some booze.’
I said, ‘I’ll give you a lift.’ There was a village nearby but they didn’t sell anything. The nearest offie was a good five miles away and anyway, Tar was only sixteen. They might refuse to serve him.
He didn’t want a lift at first. He said he wanted to go on his own. But of course once it was established he was going, everyone wanted something to drink, so I ended up driving him in anyway.
Well. We got there all right, bought some cider and beer. Then he said, ‘I’m going to walk back.’
I just looked at him.
‘No, I want to.’
‘Five miles, Tar.’
‘I just want to clear my head.’
I thought, Oh yeah. I didn’t say what I was thinking, but we were both thinking it. I watched him in the mirror as I drove off. He stood there watching my back but he didn’t move until I was out of sight.
Things had gone downhill quite a lot while I was gone. They were all looking foul; there must have been an argument or something judging by the atmosphere. Gemma was getting violent stomach cramps. I thought, Wow, she must have been doing a lot to get those sort of symptoms. I handed over the cans and while they were opening them, I went into the bedroom for another dab. I figured, well, one of us better keep a clear head. But Lils followed me.
She just looked at me and said, ‘Gimmee.’
I spread my hands. ‘What do you mean, Lils?’
‘Don’t muck me around, I know what’s going on. Now just give me mine, I want mine, all right…?’
I fished around in my pocket. ‘What about the baby?’ I said.
‘Don’t give me that crap, you want me to get like Gemma? Yeah, that’ll do the baby a whole lotta good. Right, yeah…’ She snatched the package off me and then pulled a piece of silver foil out of her pocket.
‘I only had a dab,’ I said.
‘Yeah, how many? You haven’t been coming down at all…’
She wasn’t that angry. I reckon she was pleased really, because if I hadn’t brought any, where’d she be then?
Don’t get it wrong. We weren’t getting back on it but… going away and just expecting to drop it was a bit unrealistic. You have to do these things bit by bit.
We didn’t have any needles, we had to have a chase. Then we lay on the bed and listened to Gemma having a bad time. Sal was joining in but she wasn’t so convincing. Lils had already guessed that she had some; they’d had an argument about it while I was away. They were really making a racket, moaning and groaning. After a bit we started to giggle. I mean, poor old Gemma was falling to pieces, Sal was