Junk - Melvin Burgess [89]
I sat on the bed and shot up. We sat about talking about nothing and then, Lily came in…
She just stood there looking at Tar and nodding, going, ‘Yeah… yeah…’ He just smiled wryly. You could see there was a performance on its way. Then she starts going round the room looking behind the wardrobe and in the drawers and under the bed and she says, ‘You know what? I can’t find God anywhere.’ God, of course, was what she thought Tar was on about when he talked about something outside himself helping him.
‘He didn’t hang around long, then, did he?’ she told Tar.
‘It’s not a problem to me, Lily. I’m sorry if it bothers you,’ he said, smiling at her like he was drinking milk.
I lay back on the bed and closed my eyes. I just couldn’t be bothered. I’d have said something, but he didn’t look as though he cared either. I don’t suppose he did; he hadn’t used for over a month. Lucky bastard, you could see by the look on his face. He felt good. Even so Lily stood there staring at him until he began to wriggle about in his chair.
‘Gemma did some,’ he said at last.
‘Oh, that’s all right then,’ Lily said. Then she started on at Rob. ‘You prat!’ she said.
‘He asked me, what was I supposed to do?’ said Rob.
‘Oh, leave him alone, Lily, for God’s sake, it’s supposed to be a party,’ I said.
‘Look at him, he’s practically gauching out…’
‘I only had a chase, I didn’t use a needle,’ he said.
I said, ‘You’re making too much of it, Lily. It’s his party.’
‘It doesn’t mean I haven’t given up,’ said Tar.
I said, ‘Oh, God,’ because that was asking for it.
Lily was right in. ‘Oh, yeah, you take the stuff but you’ve still given up, sure…’
‘… this is a party. Anyway, Gemma did some tonight. She told me. She asked me if it was okay.’
‘And you said yes.’
He smiled. I thought, You crafty git. Of course Gemma could have some. Because then so could he…
Well, you know, that’s junk. We’re all the same. There’s always a reason when you want to do some.
Then he said, ‘Don’t tell her, will you, Lily? It won’t do her any good, you won’t be doing her any favours.’
Lily sneered. ‘Yeah, you want me to play your game. How are you gonna feel about this tomorrow?’
‘I expect I’ll think I fancied some heroin, Lily.’
She flounced around the room a bit then snapped at Rob. He’d been sitting quietly. He knows not to put his head over the edge when Lily’s off. He’d been doing her a works and now he handed it over to her. Lily sat on the edge of the bed and started digging about for a vein behind her knees.
‘You’ve really buggered it up for both of you,’ she told Tar.
I’d just about heard enough. I got up and stamped out to the door.
‘What’s up with you?’ she snapped.
I turned round at the door and said, ‘You, lecturing him about junk with a needle stuck up your arse, that’s what,’ and I slammed the door and walked out. Lily came running to the door and leaned over the bannisters screaming at me,
‘You fucking slag! Are you calling me a junkie? Are you calling me a hypocrite?’
I just ignored her and walked on down. I didn’t even look round. I knew she wasn’t going to come for me. She still had her works loaded up in the bedroom behind her and she wasn’t likely to leave that behind, not in a room with two junkies in it.
I got to the bottom of the stairs imagining I was one of those starlets in an old fifties film where they descend the grand stairway in a ballgown, and all the heads turn. All the heads were turning, of course, but not because I was looking beautiful. I stepped off the last stair and I thought, So she isn’t a junkie? Hasn’t the penny dropped for that girl yet?
Chapter Twenty-Five
Richard
HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME
THROW ME A LINE AND I’LL SPIN IT BACK
HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME
BUT WHAT I REEEEEEALLY NEEEED’S THE CASH
Lurky
I said, ‘Are you clean?’
‘Sort of.’
‘I don’t want any needles in the house.’
‘I’m not that bad,’ he said. He