Kushiel's Avatar - Jacqueline Carey [123]
I didn't doubt either, not really.
Fadil Chouma had a buyer in mind; one, only one, mind . . .
No wonder he'd sought to conceal it. My first guess had been right. It was worth his life to reveal it, in Menekhet. It was worth anyone's life. Pharaoh had uttered a decree of death for any merchant caught trading with a Drujani.
Radi Arumi's Jebean caravan still left on the day after tomorrow.
Amaury Trente was waiting for an answer.
I thought of Hyacinthe, and the terrible despair that lurked behind his eyes. How much worse would it become as he endured the slow death of hope? Another six months, another year — how much harder would it become? I thought of the children we had rescued in Amílcar, their stricken, haunted faces. How much worse had Imriel de la Courcel endured? How much longer could he endure it? Without me, Amaury would never have found his trail. And Amaury was bound for the intrigues of Khebbel-im-Akkad, without even the skills of a trusted interpreter. A capable man, but not a clever one; so Melisande had said of him. He would be dependent on Valère L'Envers, who had wed the Khalif s son. I did not think any daughter of Barquiel L'Envers would be eager to see Imriel found. Unlike Amaury Trente, I had the means to compel her aid. And unlike Amaury, I had the means to untangle the thread of truth from a skein of half-truths and evasions.
In Blessed Elua's name. I promise. I will do what I can. If I had thought it would come to such a choice, I would never have promised. But it had, and a child's life was at stake. In my mind's eye, I saw the shadow of the Skotophagods and shuddered. Branching paths, Hyacinthe had said, and each one lying in darkness. I was afraid, I was very much afraid, that Imriel de la Courcel was already treading one. I did not think I could bear to see his face in my dreams for the rest of my life.
Hyacinthe, I prayed silently, forgive me for this choice I make.
"Phèdre?" Amaury Trente asked. "Will you go?"
I gazed at Joscelin, tears standing in my eyes. "I thought . . . truly, I thought we were done, here. I thought our path would diverge here, truly I did. Joscelin, beloved, if I told you I swore an oath, in La Serenissima ..." I was shaking, I knew I was shaking.
Joscelin looked at me for a long time, and then rendered his Cassiline bow, correct and exacting. "I protect and serve, my lady," he said softly. "Is that what you need to hear? If you believe it needful, it is needful. Besides . . ." One corner of his mouth lifted in a smile. "I amnot so overeager to see your Tsingano freed that I will not accompany you on this task."
I laughed through my tears. Oh, Hyacinths! My heart ached, like a flawed vessel fired too hot. "Yes, my lord," I said to Amaury Trente. "I will go with you to Khebbel-im-Akkad."
So it was decided.
On the morrow, we went to the jeweler's shop to see Radi Arumi. There, the gem-carver Karem served us mint tea and we presented our plight to the Jebean caravan-guide, or at least as much of it as I deemed discreet. Radi Arumi heard us out with grave attentiveness.
"Understand, Kyria," he said with regret, "I cannot return your deposit to you. Certain arrangements have been made, provisions purchased, camels leased. You see how it is."
I allowed politely that I did, and speculated that the caravan-master would ensure none of it went to waste. After innumerable cups of tea and negotiations, it was agreed that a portion of the deposit would be refunded and we would forfeit the balance.
"Come again in six months, fair one." Radi Arumi grinned, his teeth a startling white against the lined darkness of his features. "I will