Kushiel's Avatar - Jacqueline Carey [353]
I missed my lord Anafiel Delaunay, more than I could say. And I missed my foster-brother Alcuin, who was too gentle a soul to have died as he did. I missed Kaneka, for whom I had conceived a great respect, from whom I was parted by great distance; I missed Kazan Atrabiades, my Illyrian pirate. I wished I could speak to Pasiphae Asterius, the Kore of the Temenos. And I remembered, and grieved, for those others I missed, those who had died for my goals: Eamonn of the Dalriada, Remy and Fortun, my dear chevaliers, and those brave, doomed women of the zenana. I touched the ivory hairpin thrust through my coronet, remembering Drucilla, fierce Jolanta, so many others. And not just the women, no; there was Rushad, who had reminded me so of Alcuin. Erich the Skaldi, who had died trying to protect him.
So many dead.
So many living.
Hyacinthe, my one true friend. I had given him back his life, and if it was not the one he'd had, still, it was his. And he had Sibeal with him, whom I liked and admired, who understood his dreams. And I ... I had friends everywhere, now. Friends and comrades, patrons and lovers.
I had Joscelin, my Perfect Companion, the compass by which I fixed my heart.
No one could ask more.
Nor had I, and yet it had been given. By Kushiel, who had used his Chosen harder than any in recorded memory? By Naamah, whom I had served long and faithfully? By Blessed Elua himself, whose mercy is beyond reckoning? I do not know. Nor does it matter, in the end.
I had Imriel.
Imri, who'd spat in my face upon our meeting, who trusted me beyond reason. Melisande's son, the scion of my deepest enemy, my darkest desire. Who could have guessed it? Not even Elua's priests, I think. My proud and wounded boy, his heart as vast as the plains of Jebe-Barkal and twice as fierce. I loved him so much it made me dizzy, and if I'd had to defy Ysandre twice-over for him, I would have done it.
Blessed Elua was kind.
The fête, my fête, continued in the City of Elua.
I touched the bare hollow of my throat, and smiled, remembering.
Love as thou wilt.
Table of Contents
Kushiel's
ONE
TWO
THREE
FOUR
FIVE
SIX
SEVEN
EIGHT
NINE
TEN
ELEVEN
twelve
THIRTEEN
FOURTEEN
FIFTEEN
SIXTEEN
SEVENTEEN
EIGHTEEN
NINETEEN
TWENTY
TWENTY-ONE
TWENTY-TWO
TWENTY-THREE
TWENTY-FOUR
TWENTY-FIVE
TWENTY-SIX
TWENTY-SEVEN
TWENTY-EIGHT
TWENTY-NINE
THIRTY
THIRTY-ONE
THIRTY-TWO
THIRTY-THREE
THIRTY-FOUR
THIRTY-FIVE
THIRTY-SIX
THIRTY-SEVEN
THIRTY-EIGHT
FORTY
FORTY-ONE
FORTY-TWO
FORTY-THREE
FORTY-FOUR
FORTY-FIVE
FORTY-SIX
FORTY-SEVEN
FORTY-EIGHT
FORTY-NINE
FIFTY
FIFTY-ONE
FIFTY-TWO
FIFTY-THREE
FIFTY-FOUR
FIFTY-FIVE
FIFTY-SIX
FIFTY-SEVEN
FIFTY-EIGHT
FIFTY-NINE
SIXTY
SIXTY-ONE
SIXTY-TWO
SIXTY-THREE
SIXTY-FOUR
SIXTY-FIVE
SIXTY-SIX
SIXTY-SEVEN
SIXTY-EIGHT
SIXTY-NINE
SEVENTY
SEVENTY-ONE
SEVENTY-TWO
SEVENTY-THREE
SEVENTY-FOUR
SEVENTY-FIVE
SEVENTY-SÌX
SEVENTY-SEVEN
SEVENTY-EIGHT
SEVENTY-NINE
EIGHTY
EIGHTY-ONE
EIGHTY-TWO
EIGHTY-THREE
EIGHTY-FOUR
EIGHTY-FIVE
EIGHTY-SIX
EIGHTY-SEVEN
EIGHTY-EIGHT
EIGHTY-NINE
NINETY
NINETY-ONE
NINETY-TWO
NINETY-THREE
NINETY-FOUR
NINETY-FIVE
NINETY-SIX
NINETY-SEVEN
NINETY-EIGHT
NINETY-NINE
ONE HUNDRED
ONE HUNDRED ONE
ONE HUNDRED TWO