Kushiel's Justice - Jacqueline Carey [101]
"Malevolent?" Grainne gave me a curious look. "No. Capricious, yes, but not malevolent." She shook her head. "But this is a joyous occasion. Let us speak of more pleasant matters. Tell me," she asked Eamonn with a smile. "How did you find your father? Is he well?”
Thus, the moment passed.
I wanted to hear more about the Maghuin Dhonn and mayhap discuss my own experiences, but the Lady Grainne had made her wishes clear, and I reckoned it could wait. I was beginning to think she might be the best person to discuss this with, since she seemed to know more about the Maghuin Dhonn than anyone else had thus far admitted. And if it was bear-witches haunting me, whatever it was they wanted, they'd made no move to reveal themselves during our long journey across Alba. Now that we were ensconced in the hall of Innisclan itself, I doubted that would change.
In that, I was mistaken.
That night, Dorelei and I made love in the narrow bed we shared in our tiny chamber, forgetting all notion of serious conversation. There had been uisghe served by the end of the evening, and we were both a little drunk and ardent, laughing over the contortions required to keep from falling off the bed. It was sweet and foolish and pleasant, and I fell asleep afterward untouched by melancholy, with no piper's tune or woman's laughter echoing in my dreams.
I did dream, though.
I dreamed of making love to Sidonie.
It was a vivid, piercing dream, more intense by far than the memories I'd indulged in the other night. I could feel her, taste her, hear her voice in my ear. It shocked me into unwelcome wakefulness, groaning with regret and unfulfilled desire as the strands of the dream slipped through the fingers of my awareness. My rigid phallus ached, and so did my heart.
Pipes, and a woman's laughter.
"Come here.”
The words tied a knot around my will and drew me. At times I'd felt what it was like to stand outside myself and see into another person; to see the good and bad in them, the fault-lines on their soul. I had seen how cruelty could be used, and chosen not to use it. Now it was as though I stood outside myself and watched me, helpless and dismayed.
Without the slightest intent of doing so, I rose in silence, donning my clothes. I left my sword-belt where it lay. The piper's tune beckoned, filled with yearning and promise. I glanced at Dorelei, sleeping peacefully. I left our bedchamber.
The great hall of Innisclan was quiet and mostly empty. A few of the Lady's men were sleeping there; guards, drunk on uisghe. I passed them by. My feet moved with no conscious volition. I didn't want to go wherever I was going. I just…did.
In a distant part of my awareness, with every step, I felt certain I would stop. I meant to stop. And when I didn't, the distant part of me thought I would open my mouth and cry out for help. One shout would wake the household. One shout would bring Joscelin from the bedchamber he shared with Phèdre, sword at the ready.
And I just…didn't.
Instead, I kept walking. I didn't want to, but I did. As though I moved in a waking dream, I followed the summons, followed the tug on my heart, followed the piper's tune. Somewhere inside, I was shivering with fear, but I couldn't stop. I unbarred the door and walked into the night. There was a full moon, small and distant, silvering the Alban landscape. And there, beneath it, was a small, distant figure.
A woman.
I walked toward her. She stood beside one of the low stone fences. I saw moonlight glint on the silver pipe she lowered from her lips as I drew near. Whatever charm bound me, it eased somewhat as the melody faded. I took a sharp breath and came back to myself, smelling loam and musk and fermented berries, feeling fear give way to anger.
"Lady." The word emerged, harsh and raw. "Who are you?”
The woman peered at me. She was small and dark, with coarse black hair and pale, pale eyes. Her cheekbones were high and broad and there were marks on her face; woad tattoos. A pair of claws bracketed her eyes. "You may call me Morwen.”
"Morwen." I clenched my fists. "What do you