Kushiel's Justice - Jacqueline Carey [160]
I watched Alais that night, trying to gauge if she felt as I did. I didn't think so. She and Kerys giggled and flirted with the young acolytes; especially Michelet, who had unruly blond curls, a turned-up nose, and blue eyes yet to acquire a priest's detached calm. And I caught Dorelei watching me when she thought I wouldn't notice.
Dorelei retired early that evening, and I rose to accompany her.
"Stay." She touched my hand. "I'm sure you'd rather.”
"Prince Imriel." Sister Nehailah stood. It was dark enough that the torches and candles were lit, and the flickering light played over her robes and turned her braid into molten gold. Her face was calm and grave. "If it's no trouble, your highness, I would beg a word with you.”
I glanced at Dorelei.
"I wouldn't refuse a request from an ollamh" my wife observed. "Stay.”
I kissed her cheek. "I'll be along soon.”
Like Bryn Gorrydum, Clunderry wasn't built for privacy; and at any rate, I'd no intention of closeting myself with Nehailah Ansout. I beckoned her to the far end of the table.
"What is it, my lady?" I asked.
Sister Nehailah folded her hands in her lap and studied me. Young though she was, of a surety, she'd acquired a priestess' detached look. "I have heard about this." Although she spoke the Alban tongue flawlessly, she'd switched to D'Angeline. She nodded at my bound wrists.
"I do not fully grasp Alban magic, but it is my understanding that you are protected against your own desires. It troubles me.”
I scratched my bindings. "Believe me, it troubles me, too.”
"Is there aught that might be done?" she asked.
I turned my hands outward. "You know why I wear them?”
"I do." The priestess frowned. "I bespoke the Cruarch when the tale reached my ears. Lord Drustan is generous and open in his support of our temple, fledgling though it is. It is his hope that D'Angeline visitors and his own kin may feel at home in Alba.”
"Well, then." I shrugged. "You know it is Alban magic that binds and threatens me, and Alban magic that binds and protects me. If there is aught Blessed Elua can do about it, you'd know it better than I, my lady.”
She shook her head. "I have no magic to offer.”
"So." I ran one finger beneath the yarn. "The bindings stay.”
"In defiance of Blessed Elua's precept?" Sister Nehailah asked softly.
"Not entirely." I met her gaze squarely. "I do love my wife, my lady.”
Something in her expression shifted. "I hear a deeper truth behind the words you are not saying, Prince Imriel. There is another you love and desire.”
I looked away. "My lady, I spoke true. And Dorelei carries our child, a child who may one day become heir to Alba. I've prayed for guidance, but Blessed Elua has been silent. Mayhap with the shrine, that will change. Or mayhap Dorelei and I will be left to muddle through this as best we may. If you have advice, I'd be pleased to hear it.”
"I wish I did." She was silent for a moment, then gave me a wry smile; more woman than priestess. "There aren't many in Elua's priesthood willing to take a posting to Alba. I thought I would benefit from the opportunity. Still, you might be better served by someone with more experience. I will write to my own teacher, Brother Louvel. Mayhap his wisdom will prove a better guide.”
"My thanks," I said. "I appreciate it.”
"I do have one thing for you." Sister Nehailah withdrew a sealed letter from the folds of her robe and handed it to me. "This was delivered to Bryn Gorrydum the day before I left. The Cruarch bade me deliver it to you.”
My hand trembled as I took the letter. "Thank you.”
Another long look. "You are welcome," Sister Nehailah said. "I will pray to Blessed Elua on your behalf. But it is in my heart that even he cannot protect us from ourselves, and that, Prince Imriel, is the crux of the matter.”
With that, she took her leave of me. I sighed, turning the letter over and over in my hands. I recognized the