Kushiel's Justice - Jacqueline Carey [201]
Once I began, I couldn't stop.
The words came and came. Clunderry, the cattle-raid, and Morwen again. The ever-changing future. The sight of my father's spectre during the Feast of the Dead. Spring and hope, and Dorelei great with child, and then that night, that terrible night. The visions I'd seen in the stone circle. Alba at war. The burning groves, the toppling stones. My son, the monster.
The horns of Clunderry.
The screaming.
Berlik.
My voice faltered, there. I couldn't speak of it, not yet. Of Dorelei lying on the table, her head turned too far, her eyes empty and open. Blood soaking into the cloak that covered her swollen belly. Not yet, mayhap not ever. It didn't matter. I'd said enough. I was wrung out, damp with sweat. Sidonie pulled away and buried her face in her hands, shuddering.
"It was us," she whispered. "That's how they bound you.”
I didn't lie to her. "Yes.”
"I wonder that you can bear the sight of me," she murmured, lifting her head.
"Sidonie." I gazed at her. All of the wondrous contradictions of her nature were written on her face. The dark Cruithne eyes, at odds with her fair coloring. The strong line of her brows, the same shape as my own, a legacy of House Courcel, countering the delicacy of her features. The sweet shape of her pink lips. I laughed with sorrow. "Ah, Elua! I didn't think I could bear it either, not yet. I wouldn't have come if Urist hadn't insisted. If Dorelei hadn't made him promise. And the truth is, she was right. Nothing's changed it, not time or distance or horror. I love you. I could look at you forever. And I do believe that for whatever unfathomable reasons, Blessed Elua wills it." I hesitated. "Unless you feel differently?”
"No." She shook her head, then reached up and drew my head down to kiss me. "No. Never." She kissed my lips, my throat, laying a trail of kisses toward my bare, ravaged torso. A shock of desire flared through me. "I love you.”
Ah, gods! It felt like a benediction.
"Sidonie." My voice shook. "I swore an oath, I pledged myself to Dorelei and no other for a year and a day.”
" 'Tis a vow meant to be kept to the living." Her black eyes glittered with love and anguish. "How long will you stay here? A day? Two days? And how long will you be gone? Months? A year? I know you have to go. And Elua help me, I'll wait for you. For as long as it takes, I'll wait. I will." She dashed impatiently at her tears. "But do you believe the gods are so cruel as to deny us this one morsel of joy?”
"I don't know," I whispered.
"I do. And I'll not deny Blessed Elua's precept a second time." Sidonie looped her arms around my neck and began kissing me; a gentle rain of kisses, falling on my lips, my cheeks, my jaw line, my eyelids, punctuating her kisses with murmured words. "Blessed Elua, hear your scion and grant us mercy, for we do but follow your precept. Gods of Alba, hear your scion and grant us forgiveness…”
That was as far as she got.
I was a man, mortal and in love. I took her face in my hands and kissed her, deep and devouring. And ah, Elua! It was so, so good.
I pulled her down on the bed, still kissing her. Sidonie clung to me, her body pressed against mine, making small noises deep in her throat. I unlaced her stays and got her out of her gown, kissing every inch of flesh I exposed. Her hands tugged impatiently at the laces on my breeches. I kicked off my boots, shimmied out of the breeches. My wounds burned, but I couldn't