Kushiel's Justice - Jacqueline Carey [277]
"L'Envers," I said.
Maslin nodded. "He's not alone, Imriel. There are good many peers of the realm convinced this is all a part of Melisande Shahrizai's grand scheme.”
"I'm not surprised," I said. "Are you one of them?”
He didn't answer for a long time. "No," he said finally "There was a time when I would have been. Barquiel L'Envers was my patron when I first arrived at Court, you know. He does not like you. And he's very convincing.”
"Sidonie told you what he did to me," I murmured. He gave me a wary glance. I raised one hand in a peaceable gesture. "It's one of the only things she told me. I wondered why you were trying to reason with him when he was raging at me.”
"Yes." Maslin's lips thinned. "It was when I was pestering Sidonie about you. She never denied your relationship, she just refused to talk about it. It made me crazy. I reminded her about what you'd done. That conspiracy Bertran de Trevalion uncovered. She got angry and informed me exactly who was behind it, and what her majesty had done about it. I'd always wondered why his grace stepped down as Royal Commander.”
"Now you know," I said mildly.
He almost smiled. "Yes, well, now everyone knows, after that scene at the Shahrizai lodge. Anyway, it forced me to admit to myself that if I'd misjudged him, mayhap I had you, too." He paused. "Funny. In the beginning, L'Envers was convinced it was Alais you were planning to court one day. That you'd been laying the groundwork since she was a child.”
"Alais!" I was appalled. "She's like a sister to me.”
"Oh, and Sidonie isn't?" Maslin raised his brows.
"No." I shook my head. "No, it was always different with us.”
"Dirt on the bottom of her shoe," he said, remembering. "So what changed?”
"I don't know." I fidgeted with the reins. I felt self-conscious talking about her with Maslin. "Some of it was gradual. We grew up. I began to realize that some of the things that annoyed me about her, like her infernal composure, I actually admired. Then there was a day when everything just…changed. I couldn't even say why, exactly. It was like up was down, the grass was blue and the sky was green.”
"I knew." He rode without looking at me. "No one believed me, not even L'Envers; at least not until that day we caught you leaving the orchard. Do you remember? It was before you left for Tiberium. But I knew.”
"I believe you," I said.
"No one else watched her the way I did." Maslin's nostrils flared. For the first time since he'd found me, the old accusing note crept into his tone, familiar and unpleasant. "I saw it. You were the first thing she'd look for when she'd enter a room. It wasn't obvious, but I noticed. And if you were there, you were always looking right back at her.”
"Maslin." I drew rein and waited until he halted and looked reluctantly at me. "Listen to me. Neither Sidonie or I intended for this to happen. We thought…Elua, I don't know. That it would run its course like a fever, mayhap. That's why I went through with my marriage to Dorelei and went to Alba. But it didn't pass. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry if you were hurt in the process. I'm sorry it wasn't you. Believe me, the last person on earth I wanted to fall in love with is the one person that would convince half of Terre d'Ange I have designs on the throne. But I can't help it, not without defying the precept of Blessed Elua himself. All right?”
He looked away and nodded. "All right.”
"You're not going to challenge me to a duel like you did Raul L'Envers y Aragon, are you?" I asked. "I heard you beat him rather badly.”
"No." A corner of his mouth lifted. "And I didn't challenge him. He did.”
"All right." I touched my sword-hilt. "If you change your mind, I'm willing to oblige you. But I'd very much like to go home first. There are people I love there, and I have a debt of honor to pay to Dorelei mab Breidaia.”
"I understand," he said.
I nodded. "Good.”
It didn't exactly clear the air between us, but it helped. We rode for a time without speaking, the silence broken only by the muffled sound of the horses' hooves and the creaking of our gear.