Kushiel's Justice - Jacqueline Carey [291]
The knowledge that she hadn't been there when it happened would always tear her up inside. But she would face this, as she had faced everything else. "Start at the beginning.”
So I did.
I hadn't told anyone but Sidonie the whole story of what had happened that terrible night in Clunderry. I told it to Phèdre and Joscelin. It was easier. I'd had a longer time to live with it. I told it without faltering. I didn't dwell on the details, but I didn't censor them, either. And then I told the rest. Urist's promise to Dorelei. The upset I'd caused in the City of Elua. The pursuit, the pilgrims, the shipwreck. Tarkov, and Kebek the Tatar. Miroslas, and the long hunt that followed. It went quicker than I would have reckoned. There wasn't that much to tell, really. Days of labor on the barren island, days of tedium in a gaol cell, days and days of snow and cold, and then the end, and how it happened. It was the things I couldn't put into words that mattered the most.
They listened to those, too.
When I finished, Phèdre sighed. "I swear to Elua," she murmured. "I'd like to lock you up in a safe place and never let you leave.”
"Sidonie said somewhat like that." I paused. "Did you see her?”
"We did." She didn't quite smile, but almost. "You held out a long time before asking.”
I felt myself blush, and laughed. "You came a long way. I didn't want to appear insufferably self-absorbed.”
"She's well," Joscelin said. "Terrified for you, engaged in a silent contest of wills with her mother, but well.”
"Was there any message?" I asked hopefully.
"Just come home," Phèdre said.
Chapter Sixty-Five
On the following day, we caught up with Maslin, Hugues, and Ti-Philippe west of Tarkov. Micah ben Ximon and the large contingent of soldiers with him accompanied us. Maslin still wore a stunned expression at the turn of events. I didn't blame him. I felt it, too.
Our plan was to continue on to Vralgrad. We didn't have a great deal of choice in the matter, since Micah was insistent on it. If luck was with us, Tadeuz Vral would be merciful and forgive me for the deaths of Berlik and the Tarkovan guards. In hindsight it was fortunate that Talorcan and his men had turned back in frustration rather than trying to give battle against the Vralian border guard. That, Tadeuz Vral would be unlikely to forgive. And thanks to Micah ben Ximon's discretion, he didn't know about the first attempt.
Mayhap since Micah had won a second war for him, it would render his mood charitable. Micah thought that the Rebbe's intervention might make the difference in the end; that, and the fact that Berlik had not chosen to accept the Yeshuite faith. I hoped so. Whatever transpired, we were like to be trapped there for a while until the spring thaw made a sea voyage possible. Our only other choice would be to attempt a passage overland through Skaldia. Somehow, I doubted the pilgrim-hat ploy would work as well in the opposite direction.
Riding from Tarkov to Kargad took only a day. It was strange to remember how long that journey had seemed when I'd made it before, alone and on foot. It hadn't even begun to snow at that point. Since then, I'd endured so much worse.
We passed through Kargad without stopping and continued along the banks of the frozen Ulsk River. I thought about Ethan of Ommsmeer and his family, but I made no attempt to contact them. I didn't think he would welcome the knowledge of what I had done.
I wondered what story might one day find its way to his ears; the hard truth, or the wishful fantasy concocted by the priests and acolytes of Miroslas? It would be a piece of irony indeed if Berlik of the Maghuin Dhonn became a Yeshuite icon in his death.
All along the Ulsk, and then later, the Volkov, people hailed Micah ben Ximon and his men as conquering heroes. I had supposed that the frozen waterways would be abandoned in winter, but I was wrong. Vralians are hearty and ingenious folk. There were a number of traders travelling over the frozen rivers in horse-drawn sleighs.
Ben Ximon acknowledged the cheers somberly. From what I could gather,