Kushiel's Scion - Jacqueline Carey [230]
But perhaps it would be enough to try.
Canis had said so.
So had Asclepius.
After I left the embassy, I sent a note to Claudia Fulvia. It was the second step, and harder than the first. Her reply came quickly, arranging for a rendezvous at the atelier of Erytheia on the morrow.
I kept the appointment. After so many, it felt strange not to strip and pose. Erytheia was working on another panel, but she eyed me with interest as I wandered her atelier, and Silvio watched, too, going quietly about the business of grinding pigments.
"We could use you," she said at length. "If you would be willing to sit… ?"
I shook my head. "Once was enough."
She nodded. "As you wish."
It wasn't long before Claudia arrived, and Erytheia and Silvio took their leave without comment. I watched the quiet nod the women exchanged, and knew with certainty that which I had wondered. Whatever other arrangement there was between them, the artist was complicit in Claudia's plans; the plans of the Unseen Guild.
"What is it?" Claudia made no move to touch me. The slanting sunlight turned her eyes to amber, and her gaze was curious and wary. "Are you well? You look… peculiar."
"I'm fine," I said. "Claudia, it's over."
A flicker of fear crossed her features, gone almost before it could register. "Over?" she asked lightly. "Oh, but Imriel! We've scarce begun. I was so proud to hear how you dealt with Caccini. You've a knack for this, you know." She smiled, coming toward me. Her hand rose to brush my lips, trailing down my throat. "And I have so much more to offer you."
My body stirred at her touch, but it was an automatic response, nothing more. For the first time, I didn't feel as though I were sliding helpless into the pit of desire. My thoughts remained clear. I stood outside myself and saw Claudia. I saw cleverness, cunning, and ambition. I saw her carnal nature, powerful and abundant, and the delight she took in it—wielding it as a weapon and a tool for her own pleasure. And I saw their shadow-sides, too. Fear; fear of failing the Guild. Fear of aging, of no longer being found desirable. Fear that the young D'Angeline lover she held in thrall would wake up one day and find himself repulsed by her.
I could have turned it against her, but I didn't.
"I'm sorry," I said gently. "Claudia… a day ago, I meant to beleaguer you with questions." I fished the broken pieces of Canis' medallion from my purse. "How do the members of the Unseen Guild acknowledge one another? Who is Canis and what is the meaning of the secret message inscribed here? And yet…" I tightened my fist, crushing the fragments, and let them trickle to the floor. "I find I don't care."
She inhaled sharply. "How can you not?"
I shrugged. "You know, it's easier than I would have reckoned. I don't want it, Claudia. You…" I paused. "You've given me a great gift, bur the price is too high. The guilt, the secrecy… I don't like lying to my friends."
Her breast rose and fell rapidly. "Coward!" she spat.
"No." I thought about it. "Claudia, if we loved one another, no price would be too high." I accorded her a courtly bow. "You are all that is glorious in a woman, and I will always be grateful to you for showing me what it means to plumb the depths of desire. I have worshipped your body with every part of mine, and I have no regrets. But when all is said and done, we do not love one another, and you know it."
For a moment, her face softened; and then it set in harsh lines. "And the Guild? Do you forget my warning?"
"No." I took a deep breath. "Anafiel Delaunay took his chances and walked away from the Unseen Guild. So will I."
"You're a fool!" Contempt laced her voice. "Delaunay could have prevented—"
"So you said." I cut her off. "But no one can know it for certain."
She trembled with anger. "You'll run back to her, won't you? Delaunay's little protegee, cocksure and ignorant! What gives an aging D'Angeline whore the