Kushiel's Scion - Jacqueline Carey [256]
"Is he… ?"
I nodded, wordless.
She opened her arms and I went to her. There was no guilt in it, not now; not even desire. Only a mortal, human need for contact. For a long moment, we stood in the doorway, holding one another. At length, Claudia shuddered and sighed. Her breath, warm and alive, stirred my hair.
"I'm sorry, Imriel."
I released her. "Thank you."
"I'll tell the chamberlain," she said quietly. "If it's acceptable to you, your friend will be given a place of rest in the Tadeii mausoleum, at least for now."
"Do we have a choice?" I asked.
Claudia shook her head. "At the moment, no."
A harsh laugh burst from me. "So much for the Unseen Guild!"
"Imriel." She touched my cheek. "The Guild can't control every vagary of human ambition. Right now, I'm trapped here as surely as you are. Be patient."
"Patient!" The anger came, then. "Name of Elua! It's a bit late for patience, isn't it? Surely it's too late for Gilot!" I drew a sharp breath. "I want out of here, Claudia. Out of Lucca. I want to take Gilot and go home. That's all he wanted, to go home to Terre d'Ange. I promised him we'd go home. Let him at least be buried there. It's all I ask."
"Well, mayhap you should have thought of it before you decided to play the hero!" Claudia said tartly. "Imriel…" She sighed and lowered her voice. "I'm sorry. I will do what I can. But understand, I don't control the Guild. They may move to aid us or they may not, depending on their interests. And when all is said and done, the Guild is not terribly interested in Lucca." Her wide mouth curled. "I'm only a journeyman. I'm expendable. It's another reason why I was allowed to approach you in the first place."
I shivered. "Cold folk."
"Yes," she said simply. "It might have been different if…"
"If I had sworn loyalty?" I asked.
"Mayhap." Claudia shrugged. "You were a prize they valued. Or if you hadn't severed the Duke of Valpetra's hand." She smiled ruefully. "It would have been a lot easier to negotiate safe passage for you and your friends if you hadn't."
I thought about the look in Helena's eyes. "He deserved it."
"I know." She took my sword-hand and stroked it, and a frisson of desire ran through me. In the presence of Gilot's cooling body, it felt at once wrong and right. There was a strangeness in it. Death breeds desire; and yet, should it not? I knew what happened if it didn't. Death breeding death, the threefold-path. Ill thoughts, ill words, ill deeds. One building on another. "I heard what you did."
"Gilot died a hero," I said hoarsely.
"Yes," she said. "He did."
I caught her fingers in mine. "Come with me."
In my guest chamber, we coupled. I daresay there is another word for it; a better word. Lovemaking; yes, there was love in it, or at least tenderness. But it was a form of grieving, too. And mercy, and redemption… I do not know how to speak of it. In the adjacent chamber, Gilot lay dead and cold. A life, two lives, would be darkened by that sorrow. And I made love to Claudia, because we were alive and warm. No games, no frills. I fell into her and lost myself. Her voice beckoned me onward, plummeting deeper into her core.
This, too, is sacred.
Afterward, I wept.
Tears; bitter tears. All the villa was asleep, Gilot was dead, and I wept onto Claudia Fulvia's shoulder, hot tears trickling over her skin. She held me and whispered words of comfort, and I was grateful for it.
"We have to be strong," she murmured at length. "All of us."
"I know." I rose and splashed my face in the washbasin, then dressed. "Tell the chamberlain to make arrangements. I'll speak to Eamonn and Brigitta." I looked at Claudia, tousled and weary, and lovely despite it. "Thank you."
She summoned a tired smile. "I told you it was never just the Guild."
Claudia left, and I went to tell Eamonn and Brigitta. He was in a deep, exhausted sleep, but Brigitta was awake, reading by lamplight, her brow furrowed in concentration. She glanced up as I entered the chamber, and saw by my expression what news I bore.
"He has died?" she asked in her Skaldic