Kushiel's Scion - Jacqueline Carey [271]
"I know." I gazed at her, thinking that a man might look at her face for a long, long time without ever growing weary of it. I hoped Deccus Fulvius felt the same way. "Don't worry, I know how she feels. Better than I'd like to."
"I remember." Claudia touched my left hip, close to where the Kereyit Tatar mark was seared onto my buttock. She wasn't smiling anymore, and her eyes were grave. "Something like a slave-brand, wasn't it?"
Ah, Elua! I wished we could have known one another like this before. It could all have been so different between us without the games, without the invisible force of the Unseen Guild in play. There would still have been Deccus, but, well… it would have been different. There might have been love alongside the passion. Love, wild and dangerous, the sort that believed every risk worth taking, destroying reputations and shattering lives. Mayhap we had been capable of that, Claudia and I. And mayhap it was better that we hadn't tried… but I would never know.
You will find it and lose it, again and again.
"Yes," I said belatedly, easing her hand from my hip. "Something like it."
All too soon, dusk was falling and it was time for Eamonn and me to report to the town square. Gallus Tadius made a brief, distracted appearance before dispatching us on our rounds. It was the first time I'd seen him since dawn. If he'd slept in the past day, it wasn't at the Tadeii villa. I wondered if Eamonn was right.
"He's up to something," Eamonn said. "They're building something atop the gatehouse."
"A ballista?" I asked.
He shrugged. "It's meant to lob things at Valpetra's men."
"Huh." I thought about it. "What's Valpetra doing?"
"Nothing that I've heard." Eamonn grinned at me. "Nothing to interfere with my wedding, I hope! Do you know, Deccus Fulvius has offered to take my place tomorrow night and ride patrol with you so that Gallus Tadius doesn't put up a fuss."
A twinge of guilt caught me. "That's a kind offer."
"Aye." Eamonn gave me one of his sidelong looks. "You're not… ?"
I thought about Claudia touching my hip earlier today; Claudia stroking my hand beside Gilot's deathbed; Claudia in the theatre, caressing my swelling groin beneath the blanket; Claudia in her husband's salon, her tongue probing my mouth; Claudia by lamplight in the bedchamber, and the taste of her on my lips; Claudia in the painter's atelier, her white limbs spread and languid, all her naked abundance glowing in the sunlight.
"No," I said. "We're not."
"Good," Eamonn said simply.
It was an uneventful night, which was fine with me. The only surprise in the whole affair was that Gallus Tadius had ordered the sluice gates that Canis had dismantled left unrepaired. On the heels of a dry summer, the river was running low, so it made no difference. Still, it was odd. An extra sentry was posted atop the wall there, and a quartet of foot-soldiers lounged in the shadows. We all exchanged what gossip we'd overheard, but none of it came to aught.
"So how is Canis?" Eamonn asked when we were out of earshot.
"Silent," I said. "And mysterious."
He laughed. "Well, that ought to suit you."
We talked of a great many other things as we rode together that night. Mostly, I asked questions, which Eamonn answered freely. I hadn't realized, until that night, how remiss I'd been in his interests. I'd been too wrapped up in my own concerns. It came as a surprise to me to learn that he planned to travel to Skaldia with Brigitta to meet her family, assuming they both survived this siege. He hoped to coax them into blessing their union, and giving Brigitta leave to travel to Alba with him and make a home there.
"Why not?" he asked pragmatically. "I know there's a history of enmity. But we're all barbarians alike, aren't we?"
"You?" I said. "Never."
"I am, though, Imri. We both are." He rode without comment for a while. "Please don't take this amiss,"