Laid Bare - Lauren Dane [116]
“We’re not going anywhere. You’re hurting and we love you. Let us in.” Ben took her hand, kissing her fingers.
“And you’re right. I don’t know about it. I can’t unless you share,” Todd said.
“Some things hurt coming out.”
Ben heaved a sigh. He ached for her.
“I know they do, gorgeous. But once they’re out, they can’t poison you anymore.”
“I don’t want pills. I lived in a narcotic haze for nearly a year after Adele was killed. I’d go to the trial and relive that day over and over. Like a twisted version of Groundhog Day. And I’d come home, take pills, wash them down with booze and pass out. I could not deal. But I went every day because I wanted Charles Cabot to have to see me. The pills ate me up, the booze ate me up, the rage that my baby was murdered and left to bleed out on the street ate me up.” Her voice shook and her eyes held fire. “I’ll never do that again. I have to be aware. I have to because he can’t get out. It can’t happen.”
Todd met Ben’s eyes over her shoulder and tears shimmered there.
“Nothing will ever happen to you. We won’t allow that. You have to know that. This building is safe. We’ll escort you to work every day if we have to. He can’t touch you.” Ben needed her to understand.
She shot up, sending water sloshing over the edges of the tub. “It’s not that!” she screamed. “I don’t care about that. I wish he had killed me instead.”
Todd shook his head hard. “No. Damn it, no. Don’t go down this path, Erin.”
“He can’t be out and living a life when Adele is in a coffin. I can’t bear it. She was everything. Beautiful and loving and she did nothing wrong. She was light and love and he stole that. He dirtied it and ruined it.” Her face crumpled and Ben stood to gather her to him. “He got twenty-seven years and it’s only been four. She’ll never see another birthday and he might be getting out.”
“Let’s get you out of the water and into some pajamas. We’ll get the fire going and lie in bed. Okay?” Ben picked her up and she clung to him. Todd wrapped her in a towel, and they headed into the bedroom, where Todd turned on the fireplace.
Erin sighed when Ben put her down. She grabbed the towel and dried off, hung it up before rustling to find panties and her pajamas. They’d been right about that one thing. She wanted the comfort of flannel and hoped it would chase away the chill that had settled back into her bones.
“I’m getting some mulled cider and making plates.” Todd looked back at her and narrowed his gaze. “You, in bed.”
“Bossy,” she muttered, but did it and felt some comfort at the scent surrounding her. Their scent.
Ben sat across from her. He’d put on snug black boxer briefs and she couldn’t help but feel that zing that existed between them.
“Erin, I understand and respect that you want to remain clear-headed here.” He paused and she knew he was being very careful with his words.
“Don’t. Just say it. I’m not made of glass.”
He smiled. “You’re fucking scaring me. Okay so, she’s gone. He took her from you and it can’t be taken back. I’m sorry, so sorry that this happened, but wishing yourself dead in her place won’t change that. The only option you have right now is to go down there and testify before the parole board.”
“Exactly.” Todd walked into the room holding a huge tray of food and a stack of plates. “My mother went a little wild.” He smiled. “Eat. Leaving the cider in the Crock-Pot downstairs was an awesome idea. Drink it. I added some Jack.”
She picked among the food, not really having an appetite, and Todd took over, heaping potatoes, turkey, stuffing and green beans on a plate.
Fire left a trail down her throat after she took a sip of the cider. “Yeah, just a bit of Jack.” She coughed.
It was quiet for a few minutes until they’d eaten, and Erin had to admit she felt better for it.
“I know you’re scared.” Todd met her eyes as he spoke.
Her skin crawled. “I shouldn’t be. I should rush down there and set up a tent outside the parole board in protest.”
Todd closed his eyes and finally got it. “You can’t