Laid Bare - Lauren Dane [85]
“Good to meet you, Jeremy. Erin speaks well of you.”
Ben followed with a handshake.
Adrian walked in before anything else was said and caught her eye with a what the fuck look of his own. He’d been surprised by Jeremy’s visit too, it seemed.
Time to just deal with it. “Jeremy, let’s take a walk.” Erin headed to the French doors leading outside and Jeremy followed. The rest stayed inside.
“You look sad today,” Jeremy said once they’d settled on a bench near the edge of the bluff the property sat on. “Is this guy making you sad?”
“No, not him. A friend was beaten severely by her ex. She’s in the hospital and I’ve only just come back from visiting her. Why are you here, Jeremy?”
“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”
She didn’t look at Jeremy then. Instead she watched the water undulate, watched the boats, the seabirds, watched a ferry chug off toward Bremerton.
“Yes. I love him. I told you I was serious about him. You knew I’d move on. I know you will. That’s how life works.”
He sighed. “I miss you. I miss us. You never talked about me like you talk about him.”
She turned to him, taking his hand. “Don’t. I loved you very much. I still love you. I had the greatest joy in my life when we were together. We made a precious gift. But she was stolen and I lost part of myself. It’s over, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t love you then and it doesn’t mean I don’t care about you still. This guy is the real thing and I’m sorry if you’re hurt. I am, because I don’t want you to be hurt.”
Jeremy squeezed her hand and let go. “All right. I love you. I always will, and I’m sorry we lost each other after we lost Adele too. I wish I’d been better to you, given you what you needed. But you pulled into yourself like no one and nothing could touch you. God knows I tried. I failed.” He shrugged his shoulders and looked very sad.
“You didn’t fail. I just . . . I lost part of myself for a very long time. By the time I started to surface we’d fallen apart and I was different. I couldn’t love anyone anymore and I didn’t for four years. I failed. I failed her, I failed you. I failed a lot of people. But I’m working my way back to being human again. I’m happy. In love. It’s good.”
He smiled and shook his head. “Erin, you didn’t fail and I guess I didn’t either. It just wasn’t meant to be, I suppose. I want you to be happy and that you’re doing these shows just proves to me this guy is part of you coming back to live the life you were meant to. You were born to play live. I’m glad you’re doing it. I brought some contractual shit I need you to sign and then I’m going to go back home. I just had to know. I had to know if there was even a small chance for us. I can see now the truth of it.”
They hugged and she felt, for the first time in a very long time, that things were okay between them.
They went back inside and Erin tried not to smile at the way Ben scowled at Jeremy.
She signed papers and Jeremy gave her some forms showing the deposit of royalties into her account. She’d need to deal with her accountant now and she’d have to hire another part-time person to sub for Ella for the next several months at least. Erin had already assured Ella’s mother she’d pay her insurance contribution and not to worry.
There was no way Erin would simply leave Ella to sink or swim. Her music and songwriting made her very comfortable, and it wouldn’t hurt at all to continue to pay Ella a salary until she could come back. When she did come back, Erin wanted her on full-time so she could have days off.
“Okay, thanks. I’ll get you copies of all this stuff. It was good to see you.” He turned to Todd and Ben. “It was nice to meet you, Todd. Take care of her. I’ll have the security guy at the label contact you in a month or so.”
She hugged him.
“I’m just going to go now. See if I can’t get on the next flight back.”
“Stay, Jeremy. Don’t rush off on my account.” Erin didn’t want him to feel chased off or kicked out.
“I