Laid Bare - Lauren Dane [98]
As he looked out the windows over the city, he thought about how happy he was. In truth, even when he’d been in his relationship with Caroline and Greg, he’d always felt lonely. Funny, he’d often thought it would alleviate the loneliness, that extra person. It wasn’t as if he’d been ignored or felt left out by the other two, but looking back, he realized he’d never truly invested himself with either of them. He went through the motions, had had some great sex, learned a lot about his desires and how to express them, but he hadn’t really learned about himself and what he needed emotionally.
But something about Erin was different. He connected to her in a way he never had with anyone before. He felt steady, stable and, for want of a better word, understood. Together with her and Todd, he felt like a whole person.
“Hi there.”
He turned to see her in the doorway, looking soft and relaxed in a tank top and yoga pants. He loved those pants of hers. They clung to her ass like they loved it nearly as much as he did.
He opened his arms and she was in them in just a few steps. The weather had gotten cooler and fall was waning, but the condo was nice and warm from a day of afternoon sun, so her body was warm and she smelled of sunshine.
Once he’d touched her, he felt better, wrapping his arms around her and breathing her in.
“Mmm, you feel good. Did I bother you? I heard you working.”
She tiptoed up to kiss him, setting his hormones on fire. “I’m good. I finished a song I’ve been working on for two days. I just e-mailed the sound file to Adrian. You have a message on the machine, by the way.”
He put an arm around her waist and walked out with her to the living room where the answering machine was.
Caroline.
He sighed and turned to Erin, surprised by her facial expression. He reached to touch her, hating that she looked worried. “I’m not going to see her. Not without you and Todd, and probably not at all. I told her about you.”
She looked up at him, and he sat, bringing her along with him, settling her into his lap.
“Are you all right?”
She swallowed. “I think so. I believe you. I mean, look, this is all totally foreign territory. I never expected to love anyone the way I love Todd, to be married. But then you came along. You were unexpected on a whole different and yet so wonderful level.” She touched his lips. “It’s sort of beyond me to try and define it, so I don’t, other than to love you both. I wonder if it’ll be enough for you, but a call from your ex isn’t going to send me over the edge. I’m really okay.”
“Caroline is someone I’ll always care about. She’s a kind person. Good-hearted. But when we were together, while I was happy, I didn’t love her. Not the way I love you. Not the way I love Todd. I was in a nice relationship. I learned a lot about communication and how to work with an extra person in a romantic situation. But when she got her job offer I was never tempted to leave with her. And I haven’t really spoken to Greg, our third, since Caroline moved away.”
She snuggled into his body. “You don’t need to tell me all this. I know you love me.”
“I know I don’t need to. I want to. I want you to know you come first. Before Todd, before anyone. Before with Caroline, I never felt settled. I was lonely. I’m not lonely anymore. You are more than enough. You’re everything. We’ll work through things as they come up. I love you, Erin.”
She smiled against the skin of his throat. “Good. I love you too. I’m sorry you were lonely, but I know what that is. I’m glad you don’t feel it anymore. And I’m glad you told me all this. I do feel better. So call her and talk a bit. I’m going to start dinner.”
He caught her before she stood fully and brought her back to his lap, finding her mouth and giving her a long, lazy kiss.
She sighed happily when he released her and he liked that very much.
“Tell me about your day. I’m not calling anyone just now.” He stood and went with her into the kitchen and did the tasks she assigned him as he drank a beer and listened to