Lanark_ a life in 4 books - Alasdair Gray [165]
Thaw said, “Mr. Watt, I realize that schools need examinations, and admit that many students wouldn’t work at all if they weren’t rewarded with paper rolls printed by the government. And, Mr. Peel, I’ve been thrilled to hear you defending contracts and promises, because if these weren’t defended we’d have mere anarchy. I cannot deny your truths, I can only oppose them with mine. This exam is endangering an important painting. It would be blasphemy to waste my talent making frivolous decorations for a non-existent liner. But I see your difficulty. You must uphold the art school, while I am upholding art. The solution is simple. Don’t award me this diploma. I promise not to feel offended. The diploma is useless, except to folk who want to be teachers.”
Thaw leaned forward to see the pleased light of agreement on the registrar’s face, but it was so compressed and wrinkled that he sank back feeling lonely. The registrar said, “I have never in my life heard such a display of intellectual arrogance. You’ve made me more miserable than I’ve felt for many years. You have sat smugly declaiming that black is white and evidently expecting me to agree. I have no advice to give, but I tell you this: If you do not return at once to the examination your connection with the art school ends today, and for good.” Thaw nodded and left the office feeling dazed. He went upstairs to the studio trying to think of entertaining nonsense to add to the background of the examination panel. He climbed slower and slower, then stopped and turned. On the way down he passed Mr. Watt coming up. They pretended not to see each other.
The following evening his father entered the church and cried, “Come down and read this, Duncan!”
Thaw wiped his brush and descended the ladder.
“Read this!” commanded Mr. Thaw, stiffly holding out a letter.
“No need.”
“Damn you, read it!”
“No. It’s from Mr. Peel explaining why I’ve been expelled.”
“My God, you’ve made a mess of your life.”
“It’s too early to judge.”
“How do you intend to eat in future?”
“I’ve still some of my grant money. And the minister says the congregation may hold a collection for me when the mural’s done.”
“What will that bring you? Twenty pounds? Fourteen? Eight?”
“There’s going to be a lot of good publicity, Dad. I may get other mural jobs, paying ones, in cafés and pubs. The ceiling’s finished. What do you think of it?”
“I don’t appreciate painting, Duncan! I take my opinion from the experts. And you’ve quarrelled with your experts.”
“The experts who matter are you and me, the only people here. Please look at my ceiling! Don’t you enjoy it? Look at the hedgehog! I copied her from a cigarette card you stuck in an album for me when I was five. Don’t you remember? Will’s Wild Animals of Britain? She fits that corner perfectly. Don’t you like her?”
Mr. Thaw sat on a corner of the communion table and said, “Son, when will I be footloose?”
Thaw was puzzled by the word. He said, “Footloose?”
“Yes. When can I live as I want? I don’t enjoy working as a costing clerk in a city. This summer I meant to get a job with the Scottish Youth Hostels or the Camping Club. The money’s poor but I’d be among hills and able to walk and climb and mix with the sort of folk I like. I’m nearly sixty, but thank God I have my health. I expected you to get a job at the art school. Peel told me it was a probability four years ago. Instead you’ve chosen to become a social cripple. Not like Ruth! She’s independent.”
“I’m independent too. If I’ve recently eaten your food or slept under your roof it’s because I was sick,” said Thaw sullenly. He was disconcerted, for he had never expected his father to become a man who lived by doing what he liked. Mr. Thaw said mildly, “Son, I don’t hate helping you. Listen, I’m prepared to pay the rent of the house for at least another year, even if I’m not living there. We can both use it as a base, a point of departure. Of course, I’d prefer you to pay for the electricity you burn.”
“That’s fair enough.”
“Another thing. Since you were wee I’ve put a few bob a month into a couple