Last Chance Saloon - Marian Keyes [163]
As she related the whole story – the football match, the kiss, dinner at the Ivy, the Mr Stallone drama – everyone interrupted with detailed questions.
‘What did he smell like?’ Tara asked.
‘And how did you feel?’ Milo interjected.
‘Who made the first move?’ Sandro quizzed.
‘Did you know he was going to kiss you?’ Liv interrogated.
‘Did you have the chocolate mousse?’ Tara wanted to know.
‘And he paid the bill while you were at the ladies’?’ Liv said.
‘Were you nervous?’ Sandro wondered.
‘Did he admire your knickers?’ Tara asked.
‘Do you have the address of Agent Provocateur?’ Milo inquired.
At every detail they gasped and wriggled with relish while Katherine screamed with delight.
‘This is as good as sex,’ Tara yelped, then slumped into a brief, silent sadness. She had refused to tell Katherine what had upset her the previous day. ‘I really don’t want to talk about it. God,’ she’d added, in wonder, ‘I’m turning into you.’
Throughout Katherine’s story Fintan lay on the couch in a Mary Quant wig, his expression curdled and sulkily uninterested. But as the story hotted up, he cocked his ear (the lower one) with reluctant attention. Then he sat up, then leant forward, then made involuntary whistles and ‘oohs’, then he just couldn’t help demanding, ‘And you left your lovely black Jil Sander coat flung on the hall floor all night?’
Katherine nodded, proud and embarrassed.
‘All night?’
Another smirky nod.
‘You didn’t sneak out between bonks to hang it up on its special hanger?’
A triumphant shake of Katherine’s head.
‘Well, it was last season’s, I suppose,’ Fintan said. ‘But all the same.’
No one could believe how much Katherine told. When she got to the part where Joe stood in the middle of the floor and took off all his clothes, everyone clutched each other and shrieked, ‘Oh, my GOD!’
‘Shagtastic!’ Tara screeched.
‘Babelicious!’ Liv roared.
The bell rang. The pizzas had arrived. Sandro nearly exploded with frustration. ‘What a time they pick,’ he complained. ‘You mustn’t say anything, not a single word, until I return,’ he ordered Katherine, then ran, fussing and puffing, to the door. When he returned, his face almost obscured by the tower of pizza boxes, he demanded, muffled but anxious, ‘Did I miss anything?’
‘No, but it’s time for Ballykissangel,’ Liv felt she had better point out.
There was a vocal chorus of, ‘Bollocks to that! This is far more interesting. Carry on, Katherine. So there he was larging it, buck-naked, in your living-room …’
‘Larging it is right.’ She laughed, in shivery elation.
‘Oooooohhhhh, Missus!’
She even spilt the beans about the middle-of-the-night shower. ‘A shower! Oh, Matron!’ they gasped.
Milo and Liv exchanged a searing look.
‘I shouldn’t really be saying all this,’ Katherine admitted. ‘He might never ring me again. It’s happened before.’
‘Well, if he doesn’t ring, then you ring him,’ Tara urged.
‘No, I don’t think…’
With almost indecent haste, Milo and Liv were gathering up their things. In a flurry of hurried thanks and ’byes, they were gone.
‘But we got a good hour out of them before they had to leave and have sex,’ Tara remarked.
‘A whole hour?’ Fintan grinned. ‘I’d say it’s already peaked and they’re on the wane.’
Everyone noticed, but tried not to let it show: Fintan had smiled!
‘They’re just staying together for the sake of the children.’ Katherine laughed.
‘For the sake of their bedclothes, in any case,’ Tara said. ‘They bought a new duvet cover yesterday. I believe they’re devoted to it.’
‘Now, aren’t you glad I was a big, bossy bastard?’ Fintan slyly asked Katherine. ‘Isn’t your night of passion down to me, really?’
‘I thought you didn’t care any more what I do?’
‘I don’t. Well, I didn’t, but seeing as it’s been such a success consider me back on the case.’
‘Who’s to say it’s a success? It might just be a one-night stand, made all the worse because I’ve to work with him.’
‘There