Last Chance Saloon - Marian Keyes [206]
Paralysed, Katherine watched in wonder as he moved so close that his face blurred. Just before he prepared for the final descent he added casually, ‘She was nobody special.’
She was nobody special.
She was nobody special.
The words echoed in Katherine’s head. With a sudden, unwanted clarity, she knew that that’s what Lorcan would once have said about her, if his wife had found out. ‘Hey, that Katherine girl? Don’t worry about her, it meant nothing to me, she was nobody special.’
Out of nowhere she thought of Joe. He wouldn’t do that to her. He wouldn’t do that to anyone.
Lorcan loomed ever closer and finally his lips touched Katherine’s. Desperate for breath, she found herself ducking out from under his embrace. ‘I have to go to the bathroom,’ she gasped.
To her surprise he didn’t complain. Until she saw the indulgent look on his face and realized he thought she wanted to brush her teeth before the clinch.
With a watery looseness about her knees, she made it to the door. As soon as she’d closed it behind her, Tara hurtled down the hall, and hustled them both into the bathroom. ‘What are you doing in there?’ Tara demanded, in an hysterical whisper.
Panic swam to the surface of Katherine’s face. ‘I don’t know.’
‘Let me remind you that he couldn’t even remember your name on Saturday night. And he still doesn’t remember your surname because if he did he could have got your phone number from directory inquiries. And why is he calling around so late? Where was he before now? Don’t tell me he was working because Amy told me he’s not.’ Tara had spent the previous twenty minutes agonizing, and all her worries tumbled out. ‘And speaking of Amy…’
‘It’s all over with them,’ Katherine mumbled. ‘He told me.’
‘And you believed him? God, he must have really gone to town on the apologies.’
Katherine hesitated just a shaving of a second, but it was enough.
‘Oh, no,’ Tara breathed. ‘You mean he hasn’t apologized? Hell – o!’
Katherine was snow white. ‘I mean… I thought…’ But no matter which way she looked at it, she couldn’t justify it. Tara was right.
Lorcan hadn’t apologized; she’d been about to let him kiss her and she’d made no protest. How the hell had it happened? She was meant to be in control, not him. But she was as powerless and humiliated as the moment he’d left that pub more than twelve years ago. With his good looks and smooth lines, he’d fudged her emotions so much she couldn’t think straight – just like old times.
‘I’m sorry to be so cruel, Katherine, but you’d do the same for me. You have done the same for me, all those nights you stopped me from driving over to Thomas.’
‘This is different,’ Katherine tried unconvincingly. Away from Lorcan’s physical presence her head continued to clear, leaving her demeaned and cheapened at how easily she’d almost capitulated.
‘Lorcan Larkin is a bad bastard,’ Tara insisted. ‘You only have to look at how he treats his girlfriend. And, Katherine, think, please, I beg of you, just think what he did to you. And he’d do it again. He was the biggest mistake you ever made.’
‘But he was my favourite one.’
‘He’s a prick. I can’t understand how you even let him in the house. I admit he’s very good-looking and that you probably still fancy him, but after what he did to you!’
‘I thought if I saw him again I’d be able to fix the past.’ Katherine was finding it harder and harder to defend her actions. ‘My life’s a disaster and it can all be traced back to him. I thought that if he was nice to me or if I was horrible to him I’d finally feel OK.’
‘Your life isn’t a disaster!’ Tara said, hotly. ‘The past is fixed, you just can’t see it. In your head nothing has changed since Lorcan legged it, but see yourself through my eyes. You’ve a good job, you’ve got a lovely car, you’ve got great friends, but most importantly you have a relationship that works. Joe and you work! You’ve been going