Last Chance Saloon - Marian Keyes [63]
‘Go on, my son,’ Lorcan urged, giving Benjy a little push in the back.
So, with quaking legs, Benjy crossed the room and made his pitch. Lorcan leant against the wall and watched the girl through almost-closed eyes. What’s sauce for the goose was sauce for the… other goose.
All too soon, Benjy was back, red with mortification. Acting shy only worked when the man was extraordinarily handsome. Otherwise he just seemed like a geek.
‘How did you get on?’ Lorcan patronized him by asking.
‘She patted me on the head and told me I was a pet.’
‘I think we’ll both agree that that wasn’t the desired response,’ Lorcan said. ‘OK, now watch how it should be done. Look and learn. Because I’m a woman whisperer.’
‘What the hell’s that?’ Benjy demanded angrily, terrified that Lorcan was going to snatch Amy effortlessly from under his snub nose.
‘Like the horse whisperer, except instead of getting messed-up horses eating out of my hand, it’s messed-up women.’
‘She’s not messed-up,’ Benjy said hotly.
‘Oh, but she is. That sweet face, all that niceness, she’s just a bit too eager to please,’ Lorcan said thoughtfully.
‘Not to me, she isn’t,’ Benjy retorted bitterly.
Timing was everything. So Lorcan waited until every other man in the room had made his move. He knew she’d seen him. He was so tall it was hard to miss him, and he’d caught her glancing at him once or twice.
He didn’t march straight up to her and demand attention – a good-looking man who’s arrogant often scares the girls away. But a good-looking man who’s vulnerable is on the home stretch. So the contact he made with her was seemingly accidental, under the guise of helping the host collect glasses and empty cans. ‘Sorry to interrupt, but do you know if this is an empty?’ Lorcan asked, his purple eyes intense with contrived vulnerability.
When she nodded, he said haltingly, ‘You know… I mean, you’ve probably heard it before… No, no, nothing, sorry. Forget I said anything.’ And he made to move away but by then he had her interest.
‘No, please, say what you were going to say,’ she said.
‘Ah, no.’ He shuffled in a triumph of gawky body language. ‘It’s nothing.’
‘You can’t just start saying something then stop.’ Her blue eyes pleaded up at him.
Lorcan looked away, swallowed, then blurted out, ‘OK. You’re probably sick hearing it, but can I just say that you’ve the most beautiful hair I’ve ever seen.’ He had the handy gift of being able to blush on cue.
‘Thank you,’ Amy said, also blushing.
‘I’d better…’ he made an awkward gesture with the empty glasses, followed by a shy smile ‘… you know, put these in the kitchen.’
Ten minutes later, when Amy put a cigarette into her mouth, Lorcan belted through the crowds in a great display of clumsy haste. He fumbled for his special lighter, and clicked it under her nose. When – as planned – the lighter didn’t work, he allowed a brief spasm of horror to cross his face. Then, holding Amy’s gaze, burst out laughing. Ruefully, he lied, ‘It was working five minutes ago.’ It hadn’t worked for two years.
‘Isn’t it true,’ he sighed, ‘these things always let you down when you’re trying hardest to make an impression?’ Then he shrugged, ‘Sorry,’ and moved away, leaving Amy staring longingly after him. A short time later, as expected, she came after him. He was home and dry. Elation tingled through him. God, he loved this! No one could touch him. He was the master, truly the master!
The following day Amy called an Extraordinary General Meeting of all her friends. ‘I felt terribly embarrassed for him,’ she exclaimed. ‘The look on his face! He actually blushed. It meant ever so much to him to light my cigarette. And he’s so drop-dead gorgeous it hurts, when you see him, you simply won’t believe what a babe he is. How about it? A good-looking man who’s also thoughtful and vulnerable. I know it’s very soon and perhaps I’m ever so slightly jumping the gun, but I honestly think he might be…’ she paused and exhaled shakily ‘… The One.’
A few days later when Benjy realized that Amy was to be Lorcan’s girlfriend he went into a decline. ‘I thought