Last Chance Saloon - Marian Keyes [86]
‘Hello,’ she managed, in a trembling voice, hoping against hope it would be an irate punter.
‘Tara?’ It wasn’t Thomas, it was Sandro.
‘Hi!’ Tara greeted, delighted to hear from him. ‘Where’ve you and your fella been all weekend? We thought you must have been kidnapped by aliens.’
Just as Tara realized that although she and Sandro were very fond of each other, they never really rang each other directly, Sandro said, ‘I have bad news.’
In an instant Tara’s head became crystal clear. Seated though she was, the ground tipped beneath her. ‘What is it?’
‘It’s Fintan.’
‘What about him?’
‘He’s ill.’
‘Ill? How? Flu or something?’ But she knew it wasn’t.
‘We don’t know for sure what’s wrong with him.’ Yet, hovered unspoken.
‘But what way does he seem? What are his symptoms? Vomiting? Temperature? A pain in his stomach?’ Vinnie, Teddy, Evelyn and Sleepy Steve’s heads shot up from their screens. Ravi’s didn’t. He was already hanging on Tara’s every word.
‘Weakness, fever and night sweats,’ Sandro admitted.
‘Weakness, fever and night sweats,’ she mouthed, and it took only a second for the words to impact.
Immediately it was as if she’d always known. Ever since the first of Fintan’s friends had become HIV positive, this had been one of her worst nightmares. Now that it had happened there was a horrible inevitability to it – how could she ever have doubted it would happen?
She remembered the fun she’d made of the lump on his neck and her breath became short and panicky.
‘Also, he’s lost a lot of weight,’ Sandro said.
‘It’s only a week since I’ve seen him.’ Tara felt inexplicably angry. ‘He can’t have lost that much.’
‘I’m sorry, Tara,’ Sandro said.
‘Why didn’t you call me? I’ve been leaving messages all weekend. I’ve been ringing and ringing.’ She had the crazy feeling that if she’d known sooner she’d have been able to stop it.
‘I didn’t know how ill he was,’ Sandro protested. ‘I haven’t been here – I was working on a house in Norwich until yesterday.’
‘So why didn’t he call me?’
‘Tara, he was in the hospital much of the week.’
‘The HOSPITAL!’
Vinnie knocked over a cup of coffee and Slim Cheryl, Sandra and Dave poked their heads around the partition to see what all the commotion was. Tara noticed none of it. She was too stunned by Fintan being at the hospital stage already. She began to cry, but didn’t know if they were tears of rage, grief, fear or compassion. ‘I thought he was in Brighton.’
‘He lied to me, also. Told me he had flu.’
‘But how could you let him go to hospital on his own?’ Tears trickled over her cheeks and she barely noticed Ravi pressing a Marks and Spencer napkin into her hand.
‘Tara, I didn’t know, I didn’t know!’ Sandro was distraught. ‘He called me in Norwich and said he had flu and not to worry if he didn’t answer the phone, that he would be sleeping.’
‘So you didn’t worry?’ Tara asked, tartly. Almost sarcastically.
‘Of course I worried,’ Sandro replied. ‘I have been worried for a long time.’
That was a shock. Tara’s anger with Sandro vanished. He hadn’t neglected Fintan. He had been worried. This was far worse than she’d realized.
‘Maybe he has flu,’ she said, in a flash flood of irrational hope. ‘People get high temperatures with the flu and they feel weak and lose weight. Except if they’re me, of course. I must be the only person in existence who puts on weight when she’s sick.’
‘He’s been in the hospital,’ Sandro reminded her. ‘It’s not flu.’
The urge to see Fintan was desperate. To know exactly how bad he was and to will him better with her presence.
‘We’re in the hospital and he’s with a doctor,’ Sandro said. ‘He’ll go home later. You can see him then.’
‘I don’t suppose…’ Tara’s sweaty hand gripped the phone ‘… that you’ve told Katherine?’
He hadn’t.
Tara dialled Katherine’s number. Often, bad news is conveyed with an odd glee. Even when there’s huge sympathy, there’s still an undercurrent of horrified delight at the drama. As well as the macabre kudos that attaches to being the bearer of shocking news.
Tara felt none of that.
Telling