Lavender and Old Lace [49]
I thought perhaps you might stoop low enough to assist me in selecting an appropriate wedding gift in yonder seething mart. I feel greatly indebted to them."
"Why, of course I will; it's quite sudden, isn't it?" "Far be it from me to say so. However, it's the most reversed wedding I ever heard of. A marriage at the home of the groom, to say the least, is unusual. Moreover, the 'Widder' Pendleton is to take the bridal tour and leave the happy couple at home. She's going to visit a relative who is distant in both position and relationship--all unknown to the relative, I fancy. She starts immediately after the ceremony and it seems to me that it would be a pious notion to throw rice and old shoes after her."
"Why, Carl! You don't want to maim her, do you?"
"I wouldn't mind. If it hadn't been for my ostrich-like digestion, I wouldn't have had anything to worry about by this time. However, if you insist, I will throw the rice and let you heave the shoes. If you have the precision of aim which distinguishes your sex, the 'Widder' will escape uninjured."
"Am I to be invited?"
"Certainly--haven't I already invited you?"
"They may not like it."
"That doesn't make any difference. Lots of people go to weddings who aren't wanted."
"I'll go, then," announced Ruth, "and once again, I give you my gracious permission to kiss the bride."
"Thank you, dear, but I'm not going to kiss any brides except my own. I've signed the pledge and sworn off."
They created a sensation in the village when they acquired the set of china which had been on exhibition over a year. During that time it had fallen at least a third in price, though its value was unchanged. Ruth bought a hideous red table-cloth, which she knew would please Hepsey, greatly to Winfield's digust.
"Why do you do that?" he demanded. "Don't you know that, in all probability, I'll have to eat off of it? I much prefer the oilcloth, to which I am now accustomed."
"You'll have to get used to table linen, dear," she returned teasingly; "it's my ambition to have one just like this for state occasions."
Joe appeared with the chariot just in time to receive and transport the gift. "Here's your wedding present, Joe!" called Winfield, and the innocent villagers formed a circle about them as the groom-elect endeavoured to express his appreciation. Winfield helped him pack the "101 pieces" on the back seat and under it, and when Ruth, feeling like a fairy godmother, presented the red table-cloth, his cup of joy was full.
He started off proudly, with a soup tureen and two platters on the seat beside him. The red table-cloth was slung over his arm, in toreador fashion, and the normal creak of the conveyance was accentuated by an ominous rattle of crockery. Then he circled back, motioning them to wait.
"Here's sunthin' I most forgot," he said, giving Ruth a note. "I'd drive you back fer nothin', only I've got sech a load."
The note was from Miss Ainslie, inviting Miss Thorne and her friend to come at five o'clock and stay to tea. No answer was expected unless she could not come.
The quaint, old-fashioned script was in some way familiar. A flash of memory took Ruth back to the note she had found in the dresser drawer,beginning: "I thank you from my heart for understanding me." So it was Miss Ainslie who had sent the mysterious message to Aunt Jane.
"You're not paying any attention to me," complained Winfield. "I suppose, when we're married, I'll have to write out what I want to say to you, and put it on file."
"You're a goose," laughed Ruth. "We're going to Miss Ainslie's to-night for tea. Aren't we getting gay?"
"Indeed we are! Weddings and teas follow one another like Regret on the heels of Pleasure."
"Pretty simile," commented Ruth. "If we go to the tea, we'll have to miss the wedding."
"Well, we've been to a wedding quite recently, so I suppose it's better to go to the tea. Perhaps, by arranging it, we might be given nourishment at both places--not that I pine for the 'Widder's' cooking. Anyhow, we've sent our gift, and they'd rather
"Why, of course I will; it's quite sudden, isn't it?" "Far be it from me to say so. However, it's the most reversed wedding I ever heard of. A marriage at the home of the groom, to say the least, is unusual. Moreover, the 'Widder' Pendleton is to take the bridal tour and leave the happy couple at home. She's going to visit a relative who is distant in both position and relationship--all unknown to the relative, I fancy. She starts immediately after the ceremony and it seems to me that it would be a pious notion to throw rice and old shoes after her."
"Why, Carl! You don't want to maim her, do you?"
"I wouldn't mind. If it hadn't been for my ostrich-like digestion, I wouldn't have had anything to worry about by this time. However, if you insist, I will throw the rice and let you heave the shoes. If you have the precision of aim which distinguishes your sex, the 'Widder' will escape uninjured."
"Am I to be invited?"
"Certainly--haven't I already invited you?"
"They may not like it."
"That doesn't make any difference. Lots of people go to weddings who aren't wanted."
"I'll go, then," announced Ruth, "and once again, I give you my gracious permission to kiss the bride."
"Thank you, dear, but I'm not going to kiss any brides except my own. I've signed the pledge and sworn off."
They created a sensation in the village when they acquired the set of china which had been on exhibition over a year. During that time it had fallen at least a third in price, though its value was unchanged. Ruth bought a hideous red table-cloth, which she knew would please Hepsey, greatly to Winfield's digust.
"Why do you do that?" he demanded. "Don't you know that, in all probability, I'll have to eat off of it? I much prefer the oilcloth, to which I am now accustomed."
"You'll have to get used to table linen, dear," she returned teasingly; "it's my ambition to have one just like this for state occasions."
Joe appeared with the chariot just in time to receive and transport the gift. "Here's your wedding present, Joe!" called Winfield, and the innocent villagers formed a circle about them as the groom-elect endeavoured to express his appreciation. Winfield helped him pack the "101 pieces" on the back seat and under it, and when Ruth, feeling like a fairy godmother, presented the red table-cloth, his cup of joy was full.
He started off proudly, with a soup tureen and two platters on the seat beside him. The red table-cloth was slung over his arm, in toreador fashion, and the normal creak of the conveyance was accentuated by an ominous rattle of crockery. Then he circled back, motioning them to wait.
"Here's sunthin' I most forgot," he said, giving Ruth a note. "I'd drive you back fer nothin', only I've got sech a load."
The note was from Miss Ainslie, inviting Miss Thorne and her friend to come at five o'clock and stay to tea. No answer was expected unless she could not come.
The quaint, old-fashioned script was in some way familiar. A flash of memory took Ruth back to the note she had found in the dresser drawer,beginning: "I thank you from my heart for understanding me." So it was Miss Ainslie who had sent the mysterious message to Aunt Jane.
"You're not paying any attention to me," complained Winfield. "I suppose, when we're married, I'll have to write out what I want to say to you, and put it on file."
"You're a goose," laughed Ruth. "We're going to Miss Ainslie's to-night for tea. Aren't we getting gay?"
"Indeed we are! Weddings and teas follow one another like Regret on the heels of Pleasure."
"Pretty simile," commented Ruth. "If we go to the tea, we'll have to miss the wedding."
"Well, we've been to a wedding quite recently, so I suppose it's better to go to the tea. Perhaps, by arranging it, we might be given nourishment at both places--not that I pine for the 'Widder's' cooking. Anyhow, we've sent our gift, and they'd rather