Leaving Church - Barbara Brown Taylor [89]
One of the most difficult aspects of leaving Grace-Calvary for Taylor was placing her assistant’s job in jeopardy. This dilemma illustrates Taylor’s essential problem: her identity as a giver, someone who puts the needs of others before her own, has resulted in a crippling sense of compassion fatigue. Would you classify yourself as a giver? If so, when is it appropriate to put your own needs first? Have you ever experienced compassion fatigue, and if so, what are the symptoms in your own life? How did you deal with it?
Taylor realizes that being ordained had caused people to view her as set apart. If you are a clergy member, how have you experienced such a dividing line? If you are not a clergy member, do you view members of the clergy this way? Why or why not?
Chapter 10
Taylor quotes Walter Brueggemann: “The world for which you have been so carefully prepared is being taken away from you by the grace of God.” Has God ever asked you to turn from the path you thought he wanted you to tread? Why do you think God so often asks us to change?
Losing
Chapter 11
Many of us long for quiet and free time, only to become unsettled by them when they are finally available to us. Is there any space in your schedule for being quiet, for doing nothing? What is it that might secretly frighten you about unplanned time alone?
What is your practice for keeping the Sabbath, if any? If you tend to let work and chores intrude upon your Sabbath, what are the reasons why? Are they valid reasons, or could you rearrange your life?
On her first Sunday after she has left church, Taylor enjoys a “front porch service with the congregation of creation.” What would you appreciate about such a church service? What might you miss about a traditional service?
If we truly try to follow Jesus’s example, we might also find ourselves never saying no, never taking time to rest. Is this what God means for us? When is it okay to say no? Do we sin by believing that we are the only ones who can handle certain situations?
Chapter 12
Taylor observes that many counselees would probably prefer the anonymity of an old-fashioned confessional. How would such a barrier impact the way you talked to your priest or pastor? How might face-to-face confession challenge you?
Why is it so hard for us to accept doubts, depressions, or variations in mood from our clergy? If clergy revealed their spiritual ups and downs more honestly, would it make those who are hurting feel more welcome in church? Is your church a place where you can present yourself the way you really are, or do you feel obligated to put on your best self there?
Taylor writes that being identified as the holiest person in a congregation can cause clergy members to become deformed, either through hubris when they believe their own press or through sleeplessness and pain caused from worrying about the disconnect between this view and their personal knowledge of themselves. Do we sometimes confuse our clergy members with God? Does the fact that as Christians we are to pattern ourselves after Jesus make this problem worse? Do you ever suffer from “imposter’s syndrome” in your life?
Chapter 13
Why do you think many denominations by rule or by tradition bar pastors from remaining in congregations once a new pastor has taken over? What are some benefits and drawbacks to this policy?
Is your church arranged so that the pastor can see everyone during the service but most people can see only the pastor? How does such a layout affect your experience of community worship?
What role comes more naturally to you—leader or member? Taylor wishes that more people led services, so they could “share the power” and “take turns filling in for Jesus.” What do you think about this proposal? If you are a leader in your church, how does the power implicit in that role affect you?
Taylor says that being a member of a congregation calls for vulnerability and courage, as one opens oneself to other people