Lies & the Lying Liars Who Tell Them_ A Fair & Balanced Look at the Right - Al Franken [106]
At the time, the group’s official fifteen-person advisory panel included Sean Hannity, Grover Norquist, Gary Bauer, and Paul Weyrich. All but two of the fifteen members of the advisory panel of the African American Republican Leadership Council were white.
The site did list former Massachusetts Senator Edward W. Brooke III, a genuine African-American, as the panel’s honorary chairman. So Weingarten called Brooke, who told the reporter that he had never heard of the group and had no idea why his name was on the site.
Weingarten called the man identified as the group’s political spokesman and asked him why there weren’t more African-Americans associated with the African-American advisory panel. The spokesman, Kevin L. Martin, said, “I’d like there to be more, but let’s be honest, right now the Republican Party and African-Americans have a large rift.”
I don’t know about you. But I think it’s a little sad that, since J. C. Watts left the House, the number one black leader in the Republican Party is Sean Hannity.
31
I’m a Bad Liar
I never lie. That is, unless it’s absolutely necessary. So the story I’m about to tell you is a little embarrassing.
It starts two and a half years ago. My son, Joe, a junior in a very high-powered, expensive New York City private high school, was beginning his college search. We started to put together a list of schools to visit during spring break. The boy wants to be an engineer, so M.I.T., Michigan, Washington University, and Princeton were early contenders.
My wife, who, I have to tell you, is not usually funny, had a hilarious idea. Why don’t I take Joe down to Bob Jones University as a prospective student (which, technically, he was) and have fun at their expense?
Great idea, honey! Hilarious! We could ask them all kinds of snarky questions in the information session. Like about their interracial dating policy. Because of bad publicity, Bob Jones had changed the policy since Bush’s visit. Now, according to news reports, they were allowing kids to date interracially with their parents’ permission. “Yeah, um, I understand the students need their parents’ permission to date other races. I was wondering. My wife is fine with Joe dating a black girl. But I’m against it. How would that work out?”
Or “Yeah, um, on your interracial dating policy, I have a theoretical question. Tiger Woods? Could he date anyone? Or no one? Could he even go out by himself?” Oddly enough, the answer to that last question, I would learn, was no, unless Tiger was leaving campus either to go home or on a mission.
Excited about all the comic possibilities, I immediately asked my assistant Liz to call BJU, which is what they call themselves. Find out when they have information sessions and tours. Liz called, and found the people in the BJU admissions office to be incredibly friendly. I mention this because it will become a leitmotif for the rest of this chapter.
Of course, there were plenty of information sessions and tours! Come down anytime! We’d love to get to know Joe! What’s he interested in? Liz did her best—the boy’s into history. Great!
That afternoon, when Joe got back from his fancy, two-thirds-Jewish high school, I told him the good news. We were going to go on a little comedy adventure. Joe—and in retrospect, this is to the boy’s credit—was absolutely appalled. “No!”
“What?” I said incredulously. This was my son, who grew up in a comedy household. Didn’t he recognize a great idea?
“Leave these people alone!” he said angrily. “What did they do to you?”
“Well, they’re racist and nuts, and—”
“Dad, they just have a different belief system. Leave them alone.”
And that, I thought, was that. What I didn’t understand was that when you contact an evangelical organization, they will not stop mailing you shit. Did you know that