Lies & the Lying Liars Who Tell Them_ A Fair & Balanced Look at the Right - Al Franken [11]
Whenever I think back to that day and Glenn’s slumped, heaving shoulders, Annie vainly trying to comfort him, I am always amazed at just how large a burden one man can bear for all the things he has done for the country he hates.
5
Loving America the Al Franken Way
If you listen to a lot of conservatives, they’ll tell you that the difference between them and us is that conservatives love America and liberals hate America. That we “blame America first.” That we’re suspicious of patriotism and always think our country’s in the wrong. As conservative radio and TV personality Sean Hannity says, we liberals “train our children to criticize America, not celebrate it.”
They don’t get it. We love America just as much as they do. But in a different way. You see, they love America the way a four-year-old loves her mommy. Liberals love America like grown-ups. To a four-year-old, everything Mommy does is wonderful and anyone who criticizes Mommy is bad. Grown-up love means actually understanding what you love, taking the good with the bad, and helping your loved one grow. Love takes attention and work and is the best thing in the world.
That’s why we liberals want America to do the right thing. We know America is the hope of the world, and we love it and want it to do well. We also want it to do good.
When liberals look back on history, we see things we’re very proud of. And we also see some things, which might have seemed like good ideas at the time, but turned out to be mistakes. And some things we did, well, they were just bad. That doesn’t keep us from loving our country—it’s part of loving our country. It’s called honesty. What do you think is more important to a loving relationship: honesty or lies?
Here’s what I mean. I’ve made a list that takes a good, hard, if quick, look at our great nation’s history, pointing out the good and owning up to the bad. It’s not meant to be a complete list. For example, I’ve left out the Gadsden Purchase of 1849, which was something of a mixed blessing. The list is more a bittersweet love song to the world’s only remaining superpower, that majestic, though slightly flawed, country that I call home.
Salem witch trials—bad
Revolutionary War—good
Slavery—bad
Ending slavery—good, but hard
Civil War reenactments—weird
Massacring Native Americans and breaking our treaties with them—bad
Indian casinos—?
Child labor during the Industrial Revolution—bad
Child labor mowing lawns and baby-sitting— character-building
Labor movement creating the weekend—good
Land grant universities—hot
Rural electrification—hotter
Social Security—hottest!
Dictating pop culture for the world—mixed
Selling Saddam Hussein chemical weapons in the eighties—in retrospect, bad
Louisiana Purchase—bargain
Grand Canyon—wonderful, though we really can’t take much credit for it—no, wait:
National park system—really good
Leading human genome project—probably good
Genetically engineering super race of unstoppable killers—bad, but probably inevitable
Winning World War II—wow!!!
Creating democracy in postwar Germany and Japan; laying groundwork for European peace and prosperity in second half of twentieth century—right on!
The Greatest Generation—greatest!
The Greatest Generation—best-seller
Liberty—good
Justice for all—would be nice
Bill of Rights—great! but Second Amendment could have been clearer
Putting man on the moon—awesome, if true
Supporting vile dictatorships in Iran, Indonesia, Iraq, Dominican Republic, Guatemala, Congo, Paraguay, Haiti, El Salvador, Bolivia—bad
Parades—wholesome fun for whole family
Gay parades—exuberant expressions of individuality often featuring highly imaginative floats and costumes
Conducting horrific medical experiments on African-Americans in Tuskegee—bad
Japanese internment camps—good. Wait, what were these?
Truman Doctrine—smart
Vietnam—mistake
Winning Cold War—credit all around, to postwar Republican and Democratic presidents alike
Gross human rights