Lies & the Lying Liars Who Tell Them_ A Fair & Balanced Look at the Right - Al Franken [25]
Fox’s contribution to the Sunday morning political shows is Fox News Sunday with Tony Snow. Snow, a former speechwriter for the first President Bush, was editorial page editor for the Washington Times and is a frequent substitute host for the Rush Limbaugh radio show (which itself has been accused of having a right-wing bias).
Not all of Fox’s stars are avowed conservatives. For example, Bill O’Reilly was an avowed independent when he joined FNC. I say “avowed” because he was actually a registered Republican. He lied about it. He’s a big liar. That’s why he’s one of the lying liars featured on the cover of this very book. Take a look! There he is. Looking at you and lying. He should be called Bill O’Lie-lly. We’ll get to him a minute.
If any program on the Fox lineup represents the network’s credo “fair and balanced,” it’s got to be what has been called “the highest rated show in television”1: Hannity and Colmes. For those of you unfamiliar with the Hannity and Colmes dynamic, it’s a conservative-versus-liberal talking head show, kind 0of a combination between Crossfire and a Harlem Globetrotters game. Hannity spins around on the floor, dribbling behind his back, tossing alley-oops to Peggy Noonan and Bill Bennett. Colmes, the lone Washington General, stumbles around confused until Ollie North hits him in the face with a bucket of confetti.
So there you have it. The Roger Ailes starting five. Hume, Snow, O’Reilly, Hannity, and Colmes.
The Fox News Channel is currently the number one twenty-four-hour news channel on television. It routinely beats CNN in the ratings. In just seven years, Fox has grown from a mere twinkle in Rupert Murdoch’s bulging eye into a veritable all-news Death Star in his media Empire. And for that, I doff my hat to the Vader-like genius of one Roger Ailes, who has hit upon a winning formula: flag waving, martial musical stings, the whoosh, frequent advertisements for the Abdominizer, repetition of the “fair and balanced” slogan, and right-wing propaganda.
13
Bill O’Reilly: Lying, Splotchy Bully
Last time I saw Bill O’Reilly in person, he called me an “idiot” and screamed at me to “shut up!” He also said I was “vicious, with a capital V,” which I suppose means that I’m especially vicious. This all happened on national television, if you can call C-SPAN national television.
We were in Los Angeles at an annual publishing hootenanny called the BookExpo America. We were both there to promote our books. Bill was hawking his latest, Living with Herpes,1 while I was promoting (with evident success) the book you are enjoying right now. We were on a panel with the wise, witty, and wonderful Molly Ivins, who was there to discuss her newest, Bushwhacked: Life in George W. Bush’s America.
I was concerned there might be fireworks between me and O’Reilly. A preliminary cover of my book had been blown up and prominently displayed at the convention center. And based upon what I know about Bill, it occurred to me that having to walk past a giant foamcore book cover calling him a liar might light his notoriously short fuse. Also, as you may have noticed, the cover features an unflattering picture of O’Reilly looking splotchy and ill-tempered. Blown up ten times, he looked ten times splotchier. For the record, I had been hoping to get a better picture, or at least have the cover artist remove the splotches.
I first saw Bill when he charged into the green room and accused, not me, but Lisa Johnson, my 109-pound publicist, of doctoring the cover photo to make him look bad. “This is what I look like,” he said angrily, pointing at his nose. “I’ve never looked like that! You responsible for this?” he said, leaning his six-foot-four frame toward her and jabbing his finger menacingly. “That’s a doctored photo. This is what I look like,” again with the pointing. Which seemed a little unnecessary, since both Lisa and I recognized him from his many