Life [10]
For over a year, when I was nine or ten, I was waylaid, Dartford-style, almost every day on my way home from school. I know what it is like to be a coward. I will never go back there. As easy as it is to turn tail, I took the beatings. I told my mum that I had fallen off my bike again. To which she replied, “Stay off your bike, son.” Sooner or later we all get beaten. Rather sooner. One half are losers, the other half bullies. It had a powerful effect on me and taught me some lessons for when I grew big enough to use them. Mostly to know how to employ that thing little fuckers have, which is called speed. Which is usually “run away.” But you get sick of running away. It was the old Dartford stickup. They have the Dartford tunnel now with tollbooths, which is where all the traffic from Dover to London still has to go. It’s legal to take the money and the bullies have uniforms. You pay, one way or another.
My backyard was the Dartford marshes, a no-man’s-land that stretches three miles on either side along the Thames. A frightening place and fascinating at the same time, but desolate. When I was growing up, as kids we’d go down to the riverbank, a good half an hour ride on a bike. Essex County was on the other side of the river, the northern shore, and it might as well have been France. You could see the smoke of Dagenham, the Ford plant, and on our side the Gravesend cement plant. They didn’t call it Gravesend for nothing. Everything unwanted by anyone else had been dumped in Dartford since the late nineteenth century —isolation and smallpox hospitals, leper colonies, gunpowder factories, lunatic asylums—a nice mixture. Dartford was the main place for smallpox treatment for all of England from the time of the epidemic of the 1880s. The river hospitals overflowed into ships anchored at Long Reach—a grim sight in the photographs, or if you were sailing up the estuary into London. But the lunatic asylums were what Dartford and its environs were famous for—the various projects run by the dreaded Metropolitan Asylums Board for the mentally unprepared people, or whatever they call it these days. The deficient in brain. The asylums drew a belt around the area, as if somebody had decided, “Right. This is where we’re going to put the loonies.” There was a massive one, very grim, called Darenth Park, which was a kind of labor camp for backward children until quite recent times. There was Stone House Hospital, whose name had been changed to something more genteel than the City of London Lunatic Asylum, which had Gothic gables and a tower and observation post, Victorian-style—where at least one suspect for Jack the Ripper, Jacob Levy, was imprisoned. Some of the nuthouses were for harder cases than others. When we were twelve or thirteen, Mick Jagger had a summer job at the Bexley nuthouse, the Maypole, as it was called. I think they were a bit more upper-class nutters —they got wheelchairs or something—and Mick used to do the catering, taking round their lunches.
Almost once a week you’d hear sirens going—another loony escaped—and they’d find him in the morning in his little nightshirt, shivering on Dartford Heath. Some of them escaped for quite a while, and you’d see them flitting through the shrubbery. It was a feature of life when I was growing up. You still thought you were at war, because they used the same siren if there was a breakout. You don’t realize what a weird place you’re growing up in. You’d give people directions: “Go past the loony bin, not the big one, the small one.” And they’d look at you as if you were from the loony bin yourself.
The only other thing that was there was the Wells firework factory,