Life! By Design_ 6 Steps to an Extraordinary You - Laura Morton [38]
Have you ever noticed that when your spouse, co-worker, or best friend is in a bad mood, that can instantly change your mood? There are people who can change the entire temperature in a room simply by walking through the door. People with negative energy become what I’ve dubbed “energy-sucking vampires.” You know who these people are. They walk into the room and the entire vibe changes. They kill all of the positive energy in their presence. When they leave, it’s springtime again, right? What’s worse is that they carry negative energy wherever they go. Everything about these people shouts “drama!”
Perhaps you’ve had long conversations with friends going through a traumatic time in their lives, where they pour their hearts out for hours until you’re both so exhausted you can’t take one more word of dialogue. They’ve sucked the energy right out of you, leaving nothing for anyone else, including yourself. These are energy-sucking vampires. These people require so much time and attention that they leave little room for anything else. Their lives are surrounded by drama all the time. They find that dwelling on hardship, problems, and the past is more interesting than being in the moment.
One of our jobs on this planet is to be a bucket filler for other people. We go around all day long, filling other people’s buckets with compliments, support, guidance, and advice. It makes us givers of energy, hope, and optimism. When you fill someone else’s bucket, you are encouraging them to be emotionally and mentally tough. Before you do that for anyone else, though, you’ve got to make sure your bucket is not empty, or you will be living totally by default. When your bucket is full, there’s no room for anyone else’s negativity to sneak in.
I declared a long time ago that I am a drama-free zone. Don’t get me wrong, I still argue and disagree with people, but I don’t let these moments blow up into something bigger than they are. I talk it out and put it to rest. Done. I help people try to move through their own drama, but I am extremely aware of not letting their negativity into my life. Do I sometimes have to absorb their energy? Yes, but I keep my bucket full enough that their negativity flows right out. There’s no room for their darkness to seep into my world.
Over the years, I’ve slowly disassociated from people who brought constant drama into my life. Why? Because I want to surround myself with people who understand that living in drama impacts all areas of our lives. These are the “half fullers” of the world. They are not controlled by circumstance but recognize they can control how they respond.
These days, I am so By Design in my relationships and whom I choose to spend my time with that there are no energy-sucking vampires in my life. This is true for the people with whom I work, live, play golf, travel, socialize, and coach. If someone brings unexpected drama into the fold, I call them out and give them a set time to deal with it, or they can’t play in my sandbox anymore.
Everyone has positive and negative habits. Habits are learned, which means they can be unlearned. Yet they are powerful and are reinforced by the people we surround ourselves with. Think about this: Some people find that having a workout buddy makes it easier and more motivating to go to the gym every day. It’s much easier to stay out of drama when you surround yourself with people who don’t live in drama. They don’t gossip, aren’t always in the middle of a challenge or a crisis, aren’t glued to the evening news, find no significance in other people’s upsets, and don’t blow everything out of proportion. They recognize life’s bumps as just that—momentary hiccups.
EXERCISE
List all the people in your life who are energy-sucking vampires.
Here’s something to think about: Would you be on someone’s vampire list?
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