Life! By Design_ 6 Steps to an Extraordinary You - Laura Morton [45]
My client got it right away. He realized he’d been living in a self-imposed prison, under lock and key, as if he’d been under house arrest. He wasn’t able to live up to his vision because he was trying to recoup a bad investment and hold on to a vision that hadn’t worked from the start. He called his partners and said, “You can have it all. I will give you everything.” The second he did that, the 600,000-pound gorilla released him.
A few weeks later, he called to tell me that our coaching session paid for all thirteen years of our coach-client relationship. His big breakthrough hadn’t been letting go of the money. He realized he hadn’t been present to anything in his life while that situation was stirring. He hadn’t connected with his wife in months, hadn’t spent any quality time with his children, and realized he’d been so stuck in the past that there was no way to be in the moment. “I would spend every dollar I have to be free with my wife and children,” he said, right before telling me he was taking the next three months off to reconnect with his family.
The benefit of freeing yourself from the past is that you can finally see things as they really are and not how you thought they were. Reality is reality. If a tree falls in the forest, believe me, there is noise. Your interpretation of a story and the constant retelling of it set the tone for how that story will live in your life.
Letting go of your past empowers you to make new and better decisions for your future. There’s a great advantage in knowing that.
So, what old stories are you holding on to that are stopping you from living your best life, By Design? How are these stories impacting your life? In what ways are they holding you back? And now that you are aware of them, what will you do to let go of them so that you can free yourself of self-imposed traps?
ADDICTION
ADDICTION TO WORRY
The fourth addiction is addiction to worry, or what I refer to as “living with the drunk monkey.” I first heard this description on an audio program by famed parapsychologist Dr. José Silva. During his talk, Dr. Silva said, “Negative self-talk is the equivalent of letting a drunk monkey loose in your kitchen. In the end, all you’re left with is one big mess.” That perfectly describes the power of negative self-talk, which is what fuels all worry.
The human mind has tens of thousands of thoughts a day. Experts estimate that the range is somewhere between 50,000 to 70,000! And guess what? Most of them are negative. We battle thoughts of doubt, lack, limitation, worry, fear, and death, to name a few. And we continue these same thoughts over and over like a continuous loop in our minds, which appear to be naturally wired to go to bad places. We’ve been conditioned to survive by fear, worry, cynicism, and skepticism. What is the value in that kind of thinking? What do we gain, if anything?
From the earliest age we’re told, “Don’t talk to strangers,” “Look both ways before you cross the street,” “Be afraid of barking dogs,” “You’ll get hurt,” and “Don’t go into the park at night.” We interpret things based on our experiences, values, and habits. We’ve been conditioned to believe that most things in life are a little scary. Our reaction is habitual, and we are unaware of it until it’s too late. We have a tendency to go back to our mental filing cabinet, our old experiences, and, like it or not, rehash the past. This response shapes our emotions and thoughts in any particular moment. During my live seminars, I ask participants to look at the person to their right and say, “Your head is a scary place to be.” Everyone always laughs, but that statement is so true.
Have you ever wondered what your life would be like without worry?
How much bigger would your life and experiences be if you weren’t worried about failure?
How would you respond to things if you couldn’t worry about the outcome?
Imagine walking down a dark alley with zero fear, or meeting the person of your dreams and having no hesitation