Life! By Design_ 6 Steps to an Extraordinary You - Laura Morton [66]
Finding a perfect balance in your daily life can be challenging. Balance is different for everyone. Balance for a single guy living in New York City is different than it is for a married woman living in suburbia. If we don’t define what being in balance means, we won’t achieve it. If we don’t acknowledge the things we want to accomplish, they’ll never get done.
So, what is balance for you?
Answer the following question:
I’m in balance anytime I:
1.
2.
3.
4.
Single people may say they’re in balance when they’re exercising regularly, having fun with their friends, staying passionate in their work, and being in communication with their family and loved ones.
Married people with kids might say they’re in balance anytime they’re in communication with their spouse, in communication with their children, exercising regularly, spiritually connected to their faith, having fun or spending time with friends and family, and (if they work) feeling passionate about their career.
The key to achieving balance in life is knowing what it means to you and what it feels like to successfully live in balance. There is no right or wrong answer because balance is personal and subjective. Many people have unrealistic expectations about balance so they never feel as though they have it. Like all things we do By Design, we have to plan for balance to create it.
I also write down my intentions for each day so I have a clear picture of what I want to accomplish. It’s as simple as this:
Intentions for today:
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
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These three powerful elements—release, gratitude, and intention—are incorporated into my daily living, which not only give me the power but also help me maintain it. These three daily actions are designed to make me be completely present with how blessed my life already is, and help me stay connected, in sync, focused, and productive as a dad, husband, coach, and entrepreneur. My morning routine is about letting go of the past—acknowledging that it happened and then releasing from it. Doing this is powerful because it allows me to feel gratitude for all of my blessings.
Having a morning routine is a good start, but I see many people who are burned out by the end of their day. They’ve got nothing left to give to their relationships or their children, leaving those important people feeling unloved. Let’s face it, we all fall into behavior patterns. We come home from a long day at work, maybe ask our loved one how his or her day was, talk to the kids for a few minutes about school, and then review our email, watch a football game or favorite show, and basically check out.
Are these activities bringing your other relationships power?
Engage with the people you love. Don’t just ask, “How was your day, honey?” while looking at your BlackBerry. Stop. Put down the PDA. Look your spouse, your boyfriend, or girlfriend, and your kids in the eyes and be present. Become a part of their world. If you don’t have kids, take your dog for a walk. Do at least one activity that requires you to be totally present and in the moment.
It’s important to recognize that feeling good is the highest power. You have to do things every day that create that sense. Several years ago I realized that although I was giving to all the people in my life, I wasn’t doing anything for myself. From the outside looking in, life was good. But by October of every year, I would find myself so burned out that I had nothing left to give, with three months left to go before starting that cycle all over again.
It was time for the coach to get some coaching, so I hired a life coach I knew and respected. He started our first coaching session by asking me what activities I did that were purely “Tom time.”
I couldn’t come up with an answer. I had two young babies, and spent what little downtime I had with my wife while planning, creating, and working