Like Warm Sun on Nekkid Bottoms - Charles Austen [115]
“No, because you’re a wo…” he paused, and seriously reconsidered what he was about to say. Those comments had gotten him into trouble before.
“Because I’m a wo…? Wo…what? Wo…man?”
“We both know that women don’t truly belong in the clergy…”
“No, we don’t both know that…”
“But if the Church knew you also conducted yourself in this way…”
“Why do you assume they wouldn’t know? They do. They’ve been here. I have pictures that were taken during their visit hanging on a wall in my office. Would you like to see them?”
He hesitated again. He had nearly said ‘yes’, fairly certain she was lying, then thought better of it. What if they had ordained a nudist? Was it really so farfetched? They had allowed, and promoted, homosexuality. Anything now seemed possible. Good lord, animals might be next. After homosexuality, animals were always next.
He shivered as more horrific thoughts occurred to him. What if they had come to visit and then decided to partake of this ‘naturism’ themselves? Could he handle seeing his elders smiling and chummy, and ‘hanging out’ as the young people so aptly put it these days? He shuddered more violently.
“Is everything all right?” she asked.
“Fine. Bit of a chill.”
“Did you want to see the photos?”
“I’ll take your word for it.”
“Why is this such a problem for you? This is my parish. My flock is comfortable and happy living this way. I am comfortable and happy living this way. And so is God after all. Genesis 1:27 ‘So God created man in His own image.’”
He looked at her blankly. She looked at him, stunned. Could he be this dense? Apparently so.
“Naked,” she concluded.
“Are you insane? God is not naked.”
“Of course He is.”
“Madam!”
“It’s true. God is a nudist. He didn’t become angry and kick Adam and Eve out of Eden until they began all that nonsense about being afraid and ashamed, and covering themselves. Prior to that, He couldn’t have cared less what they wore.”
“You take liberties with the word of God.”
“Do I? Genesis 2:25. ‘And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.’ It’s not the nudity the Lord objected to—it was their thinking they knew more than Him, that pissed God off.”
“’Pissed God off.’ Pissed God off?”
“Do you need further examples?”
“I need some decorum. God and…” he paused. “…pissed, in the same sentence. Really. Madam…”
“Reverend.”
“Madam! However you may interpret Genesis, God has made it plain that nudity is a sin.”
“No, He hasn’t.”
“Of course He has. First of all, there is the issue of temptation…”
“I’ve never known a man who felt less tempted because a woman’s body was obscured beneath layers of fabric.”
“Women can be tempted too.” He sneered.
“I won’t deny that. Doesn’t change my point. We’re primarily tempted by a man’s mind, though,” she said, smiling. “Which you men flaunt shamelessly.”
“However sexual temptation may originate, that in no way makes the behavior either acceptable or correct, and to, additionally, fan the flames of lust by flaunting yourself, publicly … ”
“James 1:13 through 15 plainly states that God never tempts anybody. How can you say that the image of God—which Genesis 1:26 and 27 clearly explains that we are—tempts? Perhaps our actions, or our expressions, or our fertile imaginations—the way we interact as women and men—might be tempting. But our bodies, by Biblical definition, cannot tempt.”
“I can see this argument is pointless.”
“Interestingly, so can I.”
“If you’ll excuse me.”
“I would be delighted to excuse you.”
He turned and walked down the aisle without another word, his footsteps echoing hollowly throughout the large chamber. As he neared the exit, the nude woman in ministerial collar called out to him. “You’re welcome back anytime, Pastor.”
He didn’t bother turning to look at her.
“Not until you learn how to become closer to God,” he said.
“I told you,” she said. “God is a nudist and unashamed of it, as we should be. In that regard, if no other, I am closer to Him than you will ever be.”
He pushed through the outer doors and let them