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“Pride would be my bet. I’d find a way to expose mine too,” I admitted, “if it were that big. I’d want everyone to see it, envy it, and bow down before it in worship.”

“Kind of like a woman where you come from who wears the tightest clothes when she has the most impressive body.”

“Yep. Just like that. The way things are lately, it practically is nudism at times, isn’t it?”

“At least where women are concerned. Men seem more reserved.”

“I’ve heard stories about guys who call impromptu meetings in private places and somehow ‘forget’ their pants—about this one Hollywood actor in particular—so they can impress people with what dangled between their legs, but yes, mostly it’s women who reveal— men who conceal.”

“Seems more honest, somehow,” she said, “the way we do it. Have everyone on equal footing. Homer may have had weird reasons or hang-ups that led him to go around with his all exposed, but in the end, I think he was more honest and right than the people where you come from.”

“If you say so.”

“You disagree?”

“Well, from a purely practical standpoint,” I said, “if someone had a wang that enormous, I imagine he’d have trouble finding enough cloth to cover it anyway. But mostly, you have to admit, it’s a pretty radical direction in life when all of history has been more sensible.”

“Sensible?” she bristled. “Not all of history. Just recorded, supposedly civilized history. Clothing optional has been more the norm in the overall arc of human existence. And, otherwise, what parts of the human body can reasonably be revealed, or needs to be concealed, has been fluid to a large degree.”

“Really?”

“Sure. Sixteenth century codpieces. Exposed breasts. Exposed asscrack. In the last hundred years alone you’ve gone from full body suits and hats at the beach to topless with thongs. In olden days a glimpse of stocking was looked on as something shocking.”

“Now, heaven knows.” I had to agree with her. “Anything goes.”

“From cavemen and women up through the ancient Mayan, Egyptian, Spartan, Greek, Etruscan, and even into the Roman civilizations, when things began to take a more prudish turn—largely among followers of some restrictive force of authority, like a religion or something.”

“People of the ancient world were all nudists?” I asked, surprised. Had I known, I might have paid more attention in history class. At least to the pictures.

“No,” she said, correcting slightly. “It was just more clothing optional and since then people have often tried to reclaim their right to be naked publicly. From the Indian Jains, to Pyrrho of Elis, to the Carpocratians to the Pifles, to the Turlupins and the Anabaptists and the Adamites, men and women have historically wanted to feel the air and the sun on their skins. Whether it’s public bathing, social events, athletic competitions—hell, the Greek root word for gymnastics means ‘naked’.”

Suddenly something occurred to me.

“Is there a…a college around here?” I asked her.

“Community college, yeah.”

“Nudist college?”

“Of course.”

“Men’s and women’s athletics departments?”

“Sure. Why?”

“Just wondering. Morgan will want to know. Eventually. Never mind. Continue.”

She looked at me, puzzled, then shook her head and went back to explaining the history of public nakedness.

“So, anyway, people were more clothing optional earlier in world history. But, of course, all that changed heading into the Dark, and Middle Ages.

“Power—which has been entirely about control since the dawn of time —began to be acquired through managing, or restraining natural human emotions and desires, usually culminating in some form of Puritanism as a method of attaining spiritual perfection. Control of emotion. Control of behavior. Control of others in general by whatever means necessary. But that’s only been a couple thousand years, or so. Before that, it was much more a free-for-all.”

“And Homer was just looking for a return to that lack of control?”

“Or what he felt was a greater form of personal control.