Like Warm Sun on Nekkid Bottoms - Charles Austen [160]
I began to think of my life in general as something uncomfortable.
I looked over at Morgan, who had his arm around Sophie. She was delighting in his attention, and I could tell she was hoping he would stay. He gave me an enormous grin and a thumbs-up, and I knew he might—but not for long.
I thought deeply about Morgan, and about Grandfather, my family, my butler—all the things that made my life difficult, and began to see—very slowly—that my world was not all that wonderful. It was, in fact, deeply lonely and nowhere near what I’d once hoped it might become. It was more like a Tar Baby, to use that despicable racist term, and I was stuck in it rather than living because of it, and I realized that this is what Wendy must have been referring to in her private little lesson to me. Stay in your small, lonely world if you want. But if you choose to venture into the world of others…
I looked over at her as she readied herself to keep River in check, waiting with real concern for me to make the right decision. As I studied her sweet, troubled face, I realized that I had failed to see my existence as anything but better than all other options, because it was all I’d known, and so much what others—like her and Morgan—had desired for themselves. I had stayed within that life and fought desperately to keep it, even though it wasn’t really happy. Wasn’t really for me.
Be honest. Be moral. Be comfortable.
It wasn’t a joke.
Be honest. Be moral. Be comfortable.
It was a call to those who kept themselves apart with falsity.
Be honest. Be moral. Be comfortable.
Suddenly, in a flash, I saw the truth with perfect clarity.
“One million dollars,” I said.
The crowd erupted with a gasp, followed by a chorus of sounds, not many of them supportive.
“Corky,” Wisper began.
“I think you need a little daring in your life, Ms. Nuckeby,” I said. “A little spontaneity! A little fun!”
“What?” she asked, not understanding.
“One million, one hundred…” Washburne began.
“TWO MILLION!” I yelled, cutting him off.
More gasps all around. Petal and Wisper were speechless. River made a move to stop me, but Waboombas grabbed him by the penis. It surprised them both and stopped him in his tracks.
“‘You’re too damn repressed for someone so young and so cute,’” I reminded Wisper. ”You said that to me.”
“I wasn’t thinking straight,” she said. “I didn’t know you well enough.”
“Or maybe you did. Maybe you knew me better than I knew me.”
“That was when I thought I could stay in your world. I thought maybe we could split the difference. But people don’t change. I couldn’t change. Not really. Not that drastically.”
“You could if it’s who you were all along and you just hadn’t faced up to it yet.”
“Two…eh…two million…” Washburne stammered, and I could tell his heart wasn’t in it.
But mine was.
“THREE—MILLION—DOLLARS!” I shouted.
Astounded gasps raced throughout the courtyard. I think a woman fainted.
“And worth every penny,” I told Wisper. “Life is hard enough not to take advantage of a little harmless joy when it comes your way.”
She was moved for a moment. But not quite enough. Not yet.
“Are you saying I hadn’t faced up to something?” Wisper asked, sounding annoyed.
“No,” I said, reaching for my pants. “I’m saying I hadn’t.” And I ripped away the trousers to reveal my all.
Aaaand, unfortunately, I was erect, again, and everyone stared.
“Dude,” Morgan whined. “Put that away!”
Wisper stared at it, and me, for a stunned moment, then slowly began to smile. But as quickly as the happy expression had reappeared, it faltered and I stepped forward so she could hear the sincerity in my voice.
“I love you, Wisper,” I said, and her smile blossomed in full. She took a step back in shock, then forward again, and really studied me.
“I know that much, at least,” I said. “And I know that this feels more right to me than anything in my short, bland, unpleasant life up till now. Be honest. Be moral. Be comfortable. Take however long you need to ‘be comfortable’ that I won’t change back, or hurt you, or ever, ever leave you.”
She stared at