Like Warm Sun on Nekkid Bottoms - Charles Austen [189]
“I saw you struggling with Boone,” I told her. “Are you all right?”
“Fine,” she said. “I was trying to stop Washburne from shooting you, and Mayor Boone was just trying to protect me.”
“Protect you?”
“Yes,” Mayor Boone said, shoving his erstwhile son Washburne to the ground as the two men exited their vehicle. I saw the driver step out and hold his hands up as if under arrest.
“He made me do it!” the chauffer fairly cried. “I didn’t want to smash into you!”
“I didn’t know he had a gun,” the visibly angry and distraught mayor told me. “Didn’t know he was threatening you. I thought I was doing Wisper a favor getting her away from you. I was only looking out for her best interests. I’ve known her family for years.” Then to her directly, “Your father was the best man at my wedding!”
“So it was natural for you to assume,” I admitted, “that Wisper would one day be your daughter-in-law.”
“Yes,” he said, and the words slipped out of him like an exasperated sigh. “Yes, but…” and with this he turned to his progeny, moaning in the dirt. “He’s insane!”
“No kidding,” River agreed.
“But would anyone listen to me?” Wisper demanded. “Nooooo. Marry him, you all told me. He’s quirky, but he really, really loves you.”
River shrugged. Water under his bridge apparently.
Mayor Boone looked at Wisper sadly, then turned again with even deeper sadness to his boy, his child, his son, and said, simply, “You’re crazy!”
I couldn’t believe this was that much of a surprise. When someone lives under the same roof long enough with a loon like Washburne, there are certainly signs. Moody behavior. Erratic temper. A tendency to argue, to lose focus—to talk with plants.
Of course, Mayor Boone was, at best, ethically and morally challenged. Perhaps Washburne was simply the next evolutionary step—like monkey into man…only, more in reverse.
Washburne sat up, rubbing his head and looked around as if confused.
“Where are we?” he asked.
Good question. I turned and studied the terrain. I hadn’t realized that, at some point, we had gotten off the freeway. It took a moment to recognize that we were very near the dimensional hole. Not far down the road was the defaced sign that said ‘WELCOME TO GREEN VALLEY, NEKKID BOTTOMS 1 NOTTYNGON 4’. I stepped out into the road and saw the familiar scorch mark indicating the exact spot between my world and Wisper’s.
“So, what now?” I asked everyone.
River and Wendy turned and stared into each other’s eyes, as if asking the other to make the decision.
“I could help you sell your comics,” River said smiling.
“And I kinda liked Nekkid Bottoms,” Wendy said. “It’s worth another visit, after the convention is over.” She gently took River’s member in hand. “A good long visit.”
Morgan and Sophie finally stood up in the truck, apparently finished with whatever needed finishing, and leaned against one another, sweating and breathing heavily. Sophie seemed eminently satisfied, and tucked herself under Morgan’s arm happily.
“I think we’re gonna split the difference,” Morgan said, cheerily.
“And you?” the mayor asked me pointedly, obviously still unimpressed with me as a whole. “How will you survive on any world without your wealth?”
“I’ve got a few ideas,” I said. “I’m not the man you think I am. Not anymore.”
I looked at Wisper, kissed her again, and felt like I was reborn. “And besides,” I said to Mayor Boone. “I haven’t lost all my wealth.”
“True,” he said, and smiled that dark, sinister, ethically challenged smile again, that showed me just how utterly unashamed he was he hadn’t gotten away with it.
He waved me over to the limo, indicating to the chauffer to pop the trunk, which he did. Once open, the mayor reached in and pulled aside one of several fireproof security cases, dialed a combination he hid from my view and opened the latch.
There were several hundred gold coins, as well as a pile of diamonds and rubies the likes of which I’d seen only in movies.
“Wow,” I said. “So that’s how you transfer wealth from our world to yours? Those are still valuable over there then?” Boone