Like Warm Sun on Nekkid Bottoms - Charles Austen [192]
Encouraged, I tied the hook to the rope, swung a few times, and tossed it into the limbs of a large oak whose branches hung out majestically over the road, just above the now slightly glowing dimensional rift. It hooked a branch on the first try.
Karma. Kismet. The Law Of Attraction.
“Take off that shirt,” I told Wisper.
“Yes, sir,” she said, and did so gladly.
I tugged the rope hard.
The actual rope, oh you of the dirty mind.
It seemed to be safely secure, so I held out an arm to my one, true love.
“Are you sure about this?” she asked.
“As sure as I am of you and me, and how happy we’ll be for the rest of our lives.”
“Sooooo…not very sure,” she said, and laughed.
Aaaah, that magical sound.
I laughed with her. “Got any better offers, today?”
She lost her smile and studied me with intense emotion.
“There are no better offers,” she said with profound sincerity, then leaned in and kissed me passionately.
“Ready?” I asked her.
She nodded, and I tugged once more on the rope to test its strength as she leaned in and kissed me sweetly on the cheek.
“For luck,” she said, and I felt an odd sense of déjà vu. “Thanks,” I told her. “But if you turn out to be my sister in the third movie, I’m gonna be pissed.”
She laughed again, and with that I held her as tightly as my minimally exercised arms would allow—then just a little tighter—and leaped off the edge of the asphalt and into the blazing maw of clouds, and lightning, and rain.
In case you’re wondering, I became a television producer.
I got the idea from the video of Mervin and me. If people would pay money for that…
I started small at first, buying the rights to the nudist dimension soap opera, Warm Sun Over Port Charles, which I renamed Warm Sun on Nekkid Bottoms, rewrote a bit, dubbed slightly, and added footage to, in order to make it more ‘textile-world’ oriented. I’d read somewhere about someone who had done the same thing with a kids’ Japanese action show and made a bundle. So I figured, why not me?
I sold it to Starz as a soap opera set in a nudist colony. The greatest, most expansive, most elaborate nudist colony anyone in that world has seen outside Cape d'Agde, France.
Given that the acting was really excellent, the actors themselves gorgeous to look at and constantly naked, it became an instant cult hit that draws nearly two million viewers every night. More if you consider the after-premiere fans who watched it on Tivo, DVD, or iTunes downloads.
I also took a hint from Mayor Boone and created my own comics line because—for some reason—I still love them. I’d had enough of superheroes, though, so I created something with greater personal meaning for me: an ongoing comedy series about some idiots who get stuck in a nudist colony. It’s called Green Valley and it centers on a rich loser, a clueless comic collector, and a conservative minister. Oh, and I threw in a black stripper just to be ridiculous. Not that something like that could ever happen in real life.
Green Valley spawned an entire line of spin-offs about naked people and the wacky situations they often get themselves into: Spoodgie and His Frat House Pals, (I never said they were intellectual) Jezzebelle, Nikki The Nude Model, Nyna The Naughty Nudist, (alliteration is fun and easy!), and one superhero book called I Love A Girl In Tights about horny teenagers who dress up and don’t fight crime.
I then took the money from these and other projects I’d sold back on my world and started using it to capitalize original material here in Nekkid Bottoms.
Er…I mean Nikkid Bottoms. Wisper hates it when I do that, almost as much as she hates the way my artists draw all the women with big tits. Comic book guys. What can you do? It’s in the blood.
Wisper and I had our occasional difficulties, of course, but she learned to trust that I wouldn’t backslide, and I now actually prefer to be naked—when it’s warm—and have stopped being an embarrassment to her family.