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a crunch. A coworker shares his address book. You brainstorm a new idea with another

salesperson. In each case, there's no reciprocity, no guarantee of repayment. Instead,

there's an ever-enlarging circle, a circle where gifts are valued and passed on.

The only people who don't benefit from this are the hoarders. People who take gifts but

don't give them find themselves temporarily ahead of the game, but ultimately left out.

Sometimes, I Don't Want Your Gift

The thing about reciprocity and the system of gifts is that it demands that the recipient

participate. The humanity of the interaction leaves little room for someone to opt out, to

remain isolated, or to hoard. If you take that posture, your circle gets smaller.

For the system to function, all sides have to opt in, both giving and getting.

Your boss might not want her status quo changed. Your harried customer might not want

his day brightened. Your co-worker might not want to change everything.

And this is the challenge of becoming the linchpin. Not only must you be an artist, must

you be generous, and must you be able to see where you can help, but you must also be

aware. Aware of where your skills are welcomed.

The street performer is a great metaphor for you and your work. She stands on the corner,

busking for tips. Most people walk by. That's fine. If someone walks by, changing your

act to attract her or running after her is a foolish game. The performer seeks the people

who choose to stop and watch and interact and ultimately donate.

Great work is not created for everyone. If it were, it would be average work.

"Thank You and . . ."

If you appreciate a gift, consider saying, "thank you and . . ."

Thank you and I dog-eared forty of the pages.

Thank you and I told your boss what a wonderful thing you did.

Thank you and here's a record my band and I recorded last week.

Thank you and you made me cry.

Thank you and I just blogged about what you did.

Thank you and here's a twenty-dollar tip; I know it's not much, but

it's all I can afford right now.

Thank you and how can I help you spread the word?

Thank you and can you teach me how to do that?

Thank you and you changed me, forever.

How to Encourage Gifts

The gift giver may be intrinsically motivated, in which case she's doing it for herself, not

for you or your organization. But either way, what people delivering gifts seek is respect.

Money isn't the way to show respect. Money is an essential element of making a living in

this world, but money is a poor substitute for respect and thanks. Wall Street has learned

this the hard way.

When someone in your organization starts acting like a linchpin, order in lunch for the

team, in his honor.

When someone delivers more than you asked, give her more trust, more freedom, more

leeway next time.

When someone gives a speech that exceeds the bar, don't merely circle three 5s on the

conference speaker review sheets. Instead, give him a standing ovation, wait to thank him

after the talk, tell ten friends what you saw, and thank the conference organizer. It wasn't

a transaction that you pay for with a few circles on a review sheet. It was a gift. If you

want to repay it, do something difficult.

When a volunteer really steps up in your political campaign, don't just mumble a "thanks"

at the beginning of your next speech. Call her at home the next day and say thank you.

Put her picture on your Web site. Insist on getting a photo shot with the two of you.

Respect is the gift you can offer in return.

You Can Rip Off an Artist Only Once

Let me be really clear: I'm not suggesting that artists shouldn't get paid. They should, and

a lot.

But the nature of a gift means that a quid pro quo doesn't really work. "Do this and I'll

pay you" is a contract, not a way of creating art.

The artist is producing a gift, making a change, causing good things to happen without

hope for repayment. So, it's possible to give less than you get from someone who is

generous. For a while. But smart people