Linchpin_ Are You Indispensable_ - Seth Godin [95]
Here's the key takeaway: dialogue is expensive. It takes an enormous amount of
processing power to absorb all these signals, compose a response, and broadcast it back.
Because interactions so overwhelm our processing ability, it's almost impossible to fake
your intent. Sure, you can probably fake the words, but the rest of you will give yourself
away. Yes, it's the lizard brain again. The fastest part of our brain is busy receiving and
sending microsignals that may completely belie the words we're using.
When you are stressed out of your gourd, we can tell. When you're lying, we can tell.
When you are in pain, we can tell. The signals are honest because we're not that good at
lying.
This has huge implications for the linchpin.
Genuine Gifts
The only successful way to live in a world of honest signals is to give the genuine gift.
Genuine gifts, given with the right intent and a respectful posture, meet our sniff test. All
our senses are on alert, and the giver passes the test. We believe.
Now that we believe, a different relationship can occur. One about "us," not just "you."
But only if you cease to manipulate me and stop doing your job. Do your art instead.
Let me restate this because it's so important:
We have everything we need, so we're not buying commodities. We're not even buying
products. We're buying relationships and stories and magic. Our business, our politicians,
our friends--it's all the same; it's about figuring out whom we can trust and work with and
who must be kept at bay.
Corporations tried to depersonalize all of those so they could lie to us, so they could
package commodities, so they could scale without involving humans. And now they're
out of steam. The corporatization is not working as well.
Since all you have to sell are relationships, you have to bypass the scam filters. You can
certainly try to be the rational best-price, most-convenient alternative. But if you can't do
that (and who can?), then the only path available to you is to change me, connect with
me, or make a difference in my life.
Wal-Mart wins because it's cheap and close. Everyone else who wins must do it by being
generous.
And for that, you must be an artist and you need to mean it.
The Placebo Effect
It's been demonstrated again and again that the placebo effect makes people get better.
When a trusted doctor gives you medicine, odds are it will make you feel better (it may
even cause you to get better), even if the medicine is only a sugar pill.
Honest signals are the explanation.
If the doctor truly believes, truly cares, and can see us for who we are, we can sense that.
It doesn't matter what she says; it matters what else we pick up in our interactions with
her. The words don't cure us; our beliefs do.
If the placebo effect is enough to cure cancer (and it can), then it can change your client's
mind and dramatically shift the way people perceive your organization. The same
autosuggestion that heals bodies also changes minds. The people you deal with make
instant (and often permanent) decisions about people, products, and organizations.
Humans are not rational computing machines--far from it.
The people you work with won't change if you don't believe. The communication of
enthusiasm and connection and leadership starts with the gift you give, not with the
manipulation you attempt.
Why Don't We Believe That Social Intelligence Makes a Difference?
If you made a list of the top ten things you'd have a new employee practice, where on the
list would you put "be comfortable with other people," or "engage people in a way that
makes them want to talk to you," or even "be persuasive"?
It's easy to take a development day to go to a conference that purports to teach you the
latest techniques in chemical handling. Far more critical for the linchpin-in-training is
figuring out how to project enthusiasm and get people to root for you. Dale Carnegie
understood this, but the technocrats running your organization