Lincoln's Yarns and Stories [112]
for the pardon of a soldier who had shown himself brave in war, had been severely wounded, but afterward deserted:
"Did you say he was once badly wounded?
"Then, as the Scriptures say that in the shedding of blood is the remission of sins, I guess we'll have to let him off this time."
SURE CURE FOR BOILS.
President Lincoln and Postmaster-General Blair were talking of the war.
"Blair," said the President, "did you ever know that fright has sometimes proven a cure for boils?" "No, Mr. President, how is that?" "I'll tell you. Not long ago when a colonel, with his cavalry, was at the front, and the Rebs were making things rather lively for us, the colonel was ordered out to a reconnoissance. He was troubled at the time with a big boil where it made horseback riding decidedly uncomfortable. He finally dismounted and ordered the troops forward without him. Soon he was startled by the rapid reports of pistols and the helter-skelter approach of his troops in full retreat before a yelling rebel force. He forgot everything but the yells, sprang into his saddle, and made capital time over the fences and ditches till safe within the lines. The pain from his boil was gone, and the boil, too, and the colonel swore that there was no cure for boils so sure as fright from rebel yells."
PAY FOR EVERYTHING.
When President Lincoln issued a military order, it was usually expressive, as the following shows:
"War Department, Washington, July 22, '62.
"First: Ordered that military commanders within the States of Virginia, South Carolina, Georgia, Florida, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas and Arkansas, in an orderly manner, seize and use any property, real or personal, which may be necessary or convenient for their several commands, for supplies, or for other military purposes; and that while property may be all stored for proper military objects, none shall be destroyed in wantonness or malice.
"Second: That military and naval commanders shall employ as laborers within and from said States, so many persons of African descent as can be advantageously used for military or naval purposes, giving them reasonable wages for their labor.
"Third: That as to both property and persons of African descent, accounts shall be kept sufficiently accurate and in detail to show quantities and amounts, and from whom both property and such persons shall have come, as a basis upon which compensation can be made in proper cases; and the several departments of this Government shall attend to and perform their appropriate parts towards the execution of these orders.
"By order of the President."
BASHFUL WITH LADIES.
Judge David Davis, Justice of the United States Supreme Court, and United States Senator from Illinois, was one of Lincoln's most intimate friends. He told this story on "Abe":
"Lincoln was very bashful when in the presence of ladies. I remember once we were invited to take tea at a friend's house, and while in the parlor I was called to the front gate to see someone.
"When I returned, Lincoln, who had undertaken to entertain the ladies, was twisting and squirming in his chair, and as bashful as a schoolboy."
SAW HUMOR IN EVERYTHING.
There was much that was irritating and uncomfortable in the circuit-riding of the Illinois court, but there was more which was amusing to a temperament like Lincoln's. The freedom, the long days in the open air, the unexpected if trivial adventures, the meeting with wayfarers and settlers--all was an entertainment to him. He found humor and human interest on the route where his companions saw nothing but commonplaces.
"He saw the ludicrous in an assemblage of fowls," says H. C. Whitney, one of his fellow-itinerants, "in a man spading his garden, in a clothes-line full of clothes, in a group of boys, in a lot of pigs rooting at a mill door, in a mother duck teaching her brood to swim--in everything and anything."
SPECIFIC FOR FOREIGN "RASH."
It was in the latter part of 1863 that Russia offered its friendship to the United States, and sent a strong fleet
"Did you say he was once badly wounded?
"Then, as the Scriptures say that in the shedding of blood is the remission of sins, I guess we'll have to let him off this time."
SURE CURE FOR BOILS.
President Lincoln and Postmaster-General Blair were talking of the war.
"Blair," said the President, "did you ever know that fright has sometimes proven a cure for boils?" "No, Mr. President, how is that?" "I'll tell you. Not long ago when a colonel, with his cavalry, was at the front, and the Rebs were making things rather lively for us, the colonel was ordered out to a reconnoissance. He was troubled at the time with a big boil where it made horseback riding decidedly uncomfortable. He finally dismounted and ordered the troops forward without him. Soon he was startled by the rapid reports of pistols and the helter-skelter approach of his troops in full retreat before a yelling rebel force. He forgot everything but the yells, sprang into his saddle, and made capital time over the fences and ditches till safe within the lines. The pain from his boil was gone, and the boil, too, and the colonel swore that there was no cure for boils so sure as fright from rebel yells."
PAY FOR EVERYTHING.
When President Lincoln issued a military order, it was usually expressive, as the following shows:
"War Department, Washington, July 22, '62.
"First: Ordered that military commanders within the States of Virginia, South Carolina, Georgia, Florida, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas and Arkansas, in an orderly manner, seize and use any property, real or personal, which may be necessary or convenient for their several commands, for supplies, or for other military purposes; and that while property may be all stored for proper military objects, none shall be destroyed in wantonness or malice.
"Second: That military and naval commanders shall employ as laborers within and from said States, so many persons of African descent as can be advantageously used for military or naval purposes, giving them reasonable wages for their labor.
"Third: That as to both property and persons of African descent, accounts shall be kept sufficiently accurate and in detail to show quantities and amounts, and from whom both property and such persons shall have come, as a basis upon which compensation can be made in proper cases; and the several departments of this Government shall attend to and perform their appropriate parts towards the execution of these orders.
"By order of the President."
BASHFUL WITH LADIES.
Judge David Davis, Justice of the United States Supreme Court, and United States Senator from Illinois, was one of Lincoln's most intimate friends. He told this story on "Abe":
"Lincoln was very bashful when in the presence of ladies. I remember once we were invited to take tea at a friend's house, and while in the parlor I was called to the front gate to see someone.
"When I returned, Lincoln, who had undertaken to entertain the ladies, was twisting and squirming in his chair, and as bashful as a schoolboy."
SAW HUMOR IN EVERYTHING.
There was much that was irritating and uncomfortable in the circuit-riding of the Illinois court, but there was more which was amusing to a temperament like Lincoln's. The freedom, the long days in the open air, the unexpected if trivial adventures, the meeting with wayfarers and settlers--all was an entertainment to him. He found humor and human interest on the route where his companions saw nothing but commonplaces.
"He saw the ludicrous in an assemblage of fowls," says H. C. Whitney, one of his fellow-itinerants, "in a man spading his garden, in a clothes-line full of clothes, in a group of boys, in a lot of pigs rooting at a mill door, in a mother duck teaching her brood to swim--in everything and anything."
SPECIFIC FOR FOREIGN "RASH."
It was in the latter part of 1863 that Russia offered its friendship to the United States, and sent a strong fleet