Lincoln's Yarns and Stories [14]
to him. At length he hit on the plan of planting an immense field of potatoes, and, when they were sufficiently grown, he turned the whole herd into the field, and let them have full swing, thus saving not only the labor of feeding the hogs, but also that of digging the potatoes. Charmed with his sagacity, he stood one day leaning against the fence, counting his hogs, when a neighbor came along.
"'Well, well,' said he, 'Mr. Case, this is all very fine. Your hogs are doing very well just now, but you know out here in Illinois the frost comes early, and the ground freezes for a foot deep. Then what you going to do?'
"This was a view of the matter which Mr. Case had not taken into account. Butchering time for hogs was 'way on in December or January! He scratched his head, and at length stammered: 'Well, it may come pretty hard on their snouts, but I don't see but that it will be "root, hog, or die."'"
"ABE" GOT THE WORST OF IT.
When Lincoln was a young lawyer in Illinois, he and a certain Judge once got to bantering one another about trading horses; and it was agreed that the next morning at nine o'clock they should make a trade, the horses to be unseen up to that hour, and no backing out, under a forfeiture of $25. At the hour appointed, the Judge came up, leading the sorriest-looking specimen of a horse ever seen in those parts. In a few minutes Mr. Lincoln was seen approaching with a wooden saw-horse upon his shoulders.
Great were the shouts and laughter of the crowd, and both were greatly increased when Lincoln, on surveying the Judge's animal, set down his saw-horse, and exclaimed:
"Well, Judge, this is the first time I ever got the worst of it in a horse trade."
IT DEPENDED UPON HIS CONDITION.
The President had made arrangements to visit New York, and was told that President Garrett, of the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad, would be glad to furnish a special train.
"I don't doubt it a bit," remarked the President, "for I know Mr. Garrett, and like him very well, and if I believed--which I don't, by any means--all the things some people say about his 'secesh' principles, he might say to you as was said by the Superintendent of a certain railroad to a son of one my predecessors in office. Some two years after the death of President Harrison, the son of his successor in this office wanted to take his father on an excursion somewhere or other, and went to the Superintendent's office to order a special train.
"This Superintendent was a Whig of the most uncompromising sort, who hated a Democrat more than all other things on the earth, and promptly refused the young man's request, his language being to the effect that this particular railroad was not running special trains for the accommodation of Presidents of the United States just at that season.
"The son of the President was much surprised and exceedingly annoyed. 'Why,' he said, 'you have run special Presidential trains, and I know it. Didn't you furnish a special train for the funeral of President Harrison?'
"'Certainly we did,' calmly replied the Superintendent, with no relaxation of his features, 'and if you will only bring your father here in the same shape as General Harrison was, you shall have the best train on the road."'
When the laughter had subsided, the President said: "I shall take pleasure in accepting Mr. Garrett's offer, as I have no doubts whatever as to his loyalty to the United States government or his respect for the occupant of the Presidential office."
"GOT DOWN TO THE RAISINS."
A. B. Chandler, chief of the telegraph office at the War Department, occupied three rooms, one of which was called "the President's room," so much of his time did Mr. Lincoln spend there. Here he would read over the telegrams received for the several heads of departments. Three copies of all messages received were made--one for the President, one for the War Department records and one for Secretary Stanton.
Mr. Chandler told a story as to the manner in which the President read the despatches:
"President Lincoln's copies were
"'Well, well,' said he, 'Mr. Case, this is all very fine. Your hogs are doing very well just now, but you know out here in Illinois the frost comes early, and the ground freezes for a foot deep. Then what you going to do?'
"This was a view of the matter which Mr. Case had not taken into account. Butchering time for hogs was 'way on in December or January! He scratched his head, and at length stammered: 'Well, it may come pretty hard on their snouts, but I don't see but that it will be "root, hog, or die."'"
"ABE" GOT THE WORST OF IT.
When Lincoln was a young lawyer in Illinois, he and a certain Judge once got to bantering one another about trading horses; and it was agreed that the next morning at nine o'clock they should make a trade, the horses to be unseen up to that hour, and no backing out, under a forfeiture of $25. At the hour appointed, the Judge came up, leading the sorriest-looking specimen of a horse ever seen in those parts. In a few minutes Mr. Lincoln was seen approaching with a wooden saw-horse upon his shoulders.
Great were the shouts and laughter of the crowd, and both were greatly increased when Lincoln, on surveying the Judge's animal, set down his saw-horse, and exclaimed:
"Well, Judge, this is the first time I ever got the worst of it in a horse trade."
IT DEPENDED UPON HIS CONDITION.
The President had made arrangements to visit New York, and was told that President Garrett, of the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad, would be glad to furnish a special train.
"I don't doubt it a bit," remarked the President, "for I know Mr. Garrett, and like him very well, and if I believed--which I don't, by any means--all the things some people say about his 'secesh' principles, he might say to you as was said by the Superintendent of a certain railroad to a son of one my predecessors in office. Some two years after the death of President Harrison, the son of his successor in this office wanted to take his father on an excursion somewhere or other, and went to the Superintendent's office to order a special train.
"This Superintendent was a Whig of the most uncompromising sort, who hated a Democrat more than all other things on the earth, and promptly refused the young man's request, his language being to the effect that this particular railroad was not running special trains for the accommodation of Presidents of the United States just at that season.
"The son of the President was much surprised and exceedingly annoyed. 'Why,' he said, 'you have run special Presidential trains, and I know it. Didn't you furnish a special train for the funeral of President Harrison?'
"'Certainly we did,' calmly replied the Superintendent, with no relaxation of his features, 'and if you will only bring your father here in the same shape as General Harrison was, you shall have the best train on the road."'
When the laughter had subsided, the President said: "I shall take pleasure in accepting Mr. Garrett's offer, as I have no doubts whatever as to his loyalty to the United States government or his respect for the occupant of the Presidential office."
"GOT DOWN TO THE RAISINS."
A. B. Chandler, chief of the telegraph office at the War Department, occupied three rooms, one of which was called "the President's room," so much of his time did Mr. Lincoln spend there. Here he would read over the telegrams received for the several heads of departments. Three copies of all messages received were made--one for the President, one for the War Department records and one for Secretary Stanton.
Mr. Chandler told a story as to the manner in which the President read the despatches:
"President Lincoln's copies were