Lion's Bride - Iris Johansen [118]
“I shall earnestly try to spare you that bother.” He moved toward his horse. “Your temperament is clearly unsuited for such tasks.”
“Yes, it is.”
Thea could not bear listening to them any longer. “Help me with him,” she said. “He could die while you stand here talking, Kadar. Does he mean so little to you?”
“He belongs to me. One always cares about one’s possessions.” Kadar mounted his horse. “Naturally, I will do everything I can to preserve his life. Don’t leave this place until I return, and keep a good watch. Since I’m going to all this effort, I’d hate to have my efforts wasted.” He turned and trotted up the mountain.
Flippancy in Kadar at this tragic moment was incomprehensible to Thea. “I don’t understand him.”
“He’s afraid,” Selene said quietly. “I think he’s seen too much death. He armors himself against feeling deeply for anyone because he fears he will lose them. Don’t worry, he will find a way to help.”
All the help in the world would do no good if Ware slipped away from her. But he would not slip away; she would not permit it.
Ware did not wake that night.
Thea sat beside him, moistening his lips and head with water. She and Selene had taken off his armor, and without that protection he looked frighteningly vulnerable. He was no longer a warrior but a man open to all harm.
Selene came to her at dawn and knelt, gazing at Ware’s pale face. “He is no better.”
“He might be.” Thea could hear the desperation in her own voice. “Perhaps the sleep is healing him.”
“Perhaps,” Selene said without confidence.
“He will wake soon.”
“And what if he doesn’t?” Selene asked gently. “You must accept the possibility that he may die.”
“I will not accept it.”
“Because he gave his life for you?”
“He didn’t give his life. He’s not going to die.”
Selene was silent a moment, studying her. “I was a fool,” she said harshly. “All this time I believed you when you said you hated him. You love this man.”
“Yes.” How simple to confess it now when she had not been able even to contemplate the idea before.
“Then why did you lie to me?”
“I didn’t lie to you. I didn’t know—I was afraid to love him.” She ran her hand wearily through her hair. “And he had no right to do what he did. I was angry and hurt.” She was still angry and hurt, but at this moment that meant nothing in light of the fact that Ware might die. She repeated, “I didn’t know.”
“You should have chosen another man to love.” Selene’s hands clenched with anger. “You should have known Lord Ware would bring you pain.”
“I didn’t want it to happen. It just…came.”
“And now look at you. When he dies, you will grieve, and I’ll be able to do nothing about it.”
“He’s not going to die,” Thea repeated. “Go away. I won’t have you here thinking bad thoughts.”
“Thoughts don’t kill. Let me help you.”
She couldn’t take the chance. She had the feeling Ware was teetering on the brink, and even a breath would cause him to fall. “I’ll take care of him myself.”
Selene shook her head as she rose to her feet. “It’s worse than the time you made the banner. You wouldn’t let me help then either, but at least you didn’t think I’d bring death by being in the same chamber.” She shrugged and strode away. “I’ll go back and stand watch. Call me if you decide I can help.”
She had hurt Selene, Thea realized wearily. She would have to make amends later. She supposed her sister was right. This desperation and obsessive determination were similar to what she had felt when she had been embroidering the banner. But the terror, the sickening fear, had not been present then.
The banner.
Asherah.
Had Ware been struck down by God for questioning the holy teachings?
She would not believe it. If he died, it would be because he had given his life for her. Whatever trespass he had committed, surely such a sacrifice would not be demanded of him.
Kadar could feel the thrust of power as soon as he entered the gates. It was as strong and compelling