Lion's Bride - Iris Johansen [42]
“How did you get passage on the caravan?”
“Balzar, the leader of the caravan, came often to the House of Nicholas. For years I’d been working in secret on a silk robe with embroidery fit for an emperor. I offered to trade it to him in exchange for food, water, and a place in the caravan.”
He lifted his brows. “A silk robe for sheltering a runaway slave?”
“A robe fit for an emperor,” she repeated. “Balzar was very vain. He had to have it. Besides, there was little shelter involved. If I’d been discovered, he would merely have disclaimed knowing who I was.”
“You stole the silk for the robe?”
“I don’t steal,” she flared. “I planted the trees that nurtured those silkworms, and the embroidery was my design and my work. Nicholas’s wealth grew tenfold when he started to display my designs. Did I not deserve something? Do you know how hard it was to find the time to do such an intricate design? Every morning I crept out in the garden in half darkness when I could barely see and then later had to rip half the stitches because I’d made mistakes. It took me almost two years to—”
“I wasn’t condemning you,” he interrupted. “I only asked.” He smiled crookedly. “What’s a length of silk when all Christendom knows I stole a much greater treasure?”
“Don’t be absurd.” She was still annoyed with him. “Why do you say things like that? I told you that it was clear you’re too blunt to indulge in thievery.”
“Indeed? Then how do you account for all the riches you see in the castle?”
“I don’t have to account for them. It doesn’t interest me.” She shrugged. “Perhaps you are a thief. Kadar says you ask great fees for protecting caravans and fighting battles. Perhaps that could be considered thievery.”
His lips twitched. “Certainly the lords who hire me consider it so.”
He had almost smiled, she realized. She had a sudden urge to see if she could make him do it again. “No, I told Kadar the reason you were cast out of the order was your lustfulness. You broke the law of abstinence.”
He did smile and looked years younger. “It’s true I found that restriction a great burden.”
She nodded. “I thought as much.”
His smile faded. “And what do you know of lust? Kadar tells me you escaped the raping at the caravan.”
“I saw coupling at the House of Nicholas. When the merchant was of importance, Nicholas would sometimes invite him to the women’s quarters and let him choose one of the women to pleasure him.”
“Your mother?”
“Once.”
“And you watched it?”
“No, I closed my eyes. She told me it wouldn’t hurt her but that I should not watch.” She did not want to think back on that night. She had seen nothing, but she had heard the soft laughter of the men, the grunts, the labored breathing, and then later, when her mother had come back to her, the sound of smothered sobs. “She lied. He did hurt her. Perhaps not her body, but he hurt her.” Her voice shook with remembered rage. “That is what it is to be a slave. To have no choice, to know that mind and body and skill are not your own. Do not speak to me of a pleasant captivity. There is none.”
“Very well. We won’t discuss it.”
But something unspoken lingered in the room, and again she felt uneasy. She stood up. “I must go to Haroun.”
He let her go this time, watching her as she crossed the room. “You say you grew new mulberry trees for Nicholas? How?”
She stopped, puzzled at the change of subject. “Like any other tree. He bought young trees from a trader and planted them in the grove. I tended them and made sure the roots were strong.”
“Is that what you plan on doing in Damascus?”
“Yes, or trade for them.”
“Another robe for an emperor?”
“You wouldn’t scoff if you’d seen it.”
He met her gaze. “I’m not scoffing. I believe you.”
She felt a rush of glowing warmth. “You do?”
“I believe you can do anything you set out to do.”
He meant it, she realized. “I promise that it won’t compare with the banner I shall make for you,” she said eagerly. “Emperors