Lion's Bride - Iris Johansen [48]
Thea’s eyes widened in shock.
“Are you?” Tasza demanded.
Thea shook her head.
Relief rippled over Tasza’s face, but her tone was offhand. “It’s just as well. He deserves better than a woman with no skill.”
Tasza was jealous. Jealous and hurting and striking out in all directions. What must it be like to have to rely only on your body to find worth in a man’s eyes? Thea would not have been able to bear it. She said gently, “You’re right, I don’t have your skill.” She paused. “But you don’t have mine.”
“Your skills and embroidery mean nothing when a man is in lust.”
“But they can bring pleasure for a hundred years, not just for a few moments. And I can earn my bread and be dependent on no man.”
Tasza shook her head. “A woman is always dependent on a man. They will allow nothing else.”
“Not if we have a skill that they need.” She paused. “Men are driven by a desire for gold and power and are more likely to pay heed to what a woman demands if she can offer him one or the other. Silk can become gold. Fine embroidery is valued by all.”
Tasza was silent a moment. “You have strange ideas.”
“Lord Ware said he’s interested in making silk for the trade. He wished Jasmine to learn how to take care of the worms and trees.” She added with careful casualness, “I could teach you as well.”
“Me? Worms?” She adamantly shook her head.
“I can teach you embroidery, but after you learn the stitches, it will still take years to perfect.”
“I didn’t say I wished to learn this skill.” Tasza paused. “But you may teach my mother. She’s no longer young, and I think she would like—” She was silent a moment. “She deserves to be treated as a woman of worth.”
“And you do not?”
Tasza glared at her. “You’re confusing me. I’ll talk no more about this.” She turned on her heel. “My mother said to tell you she moved Haroun to her room.”
“She didn’t have to do that.”
“Yes, she did. Give her no argument. She needs to pamper the boy as much as he needs the care. In a few weeks he should be well enough to go to the soldiers’ barracks.” She moved toward the door leading to the servants’ quarters. “Abdul will make sure he comes to no harm. If he’s not distracted digging in the dirt to plant your silly trees.”
Thea shook her head as she made her way down the corridor toward the Great Hall. Why had she offered to teach the woman when she had been certain of a rebuff? She was being drawn deeper and deeper into the lives of the people here, and she could not allow it.
But it would do no harm to try to give these women what she had herself. They were both strong and deserved something better than the life fate had doled them. She would not be able to teach them more than the rudiments before she left for Damascus, but perhaps that would be enough. She had taught herself more than she had been taught. Perhaps it would be the same with Tasza and Jasmine.
If Tasza would let herself be taught. She seemed to resent everyone in the world but her mother.
And Abdul.
Well, Thea could not worry about them tonight. She must get something to eat, wash off this dirt, and go to her bed. She would sleep well tonight.
Would Ware sleep well tonight?
She banished the intrusive thought. She had spent enough time wondering if all was well with him. He, too, was insinuating himself into her life. No, that was the wrong word. Not “insinuate,” there was no subtlety about Ware. He was like a rock rolling down hill, crushing everything in its path.
Like the boulders on the hillside this afternoon, the boulders that had hidden the threat he refused to discuss.
Let him keep his secrets. Any confidences would draw her closer to him, and she wanted to be no nearer than she was bound to be by her promise to Kadar. Ware aroused too many unsettling emotions. Perhaps her vow could be kept by seeing that Ware had the means for entry into the silk trade.
No, she thought regretfully, Kadar would not consider that the service he’d required of her. He had told her to keep Ware company. And how was she to do that? she wondered in exasperation. Was she supposed to help