Lion's Bride - Iris Johansen [73]
“Yes, I do.” He reached between them and pressed and rotated. “Come.”
She was panting and tears stung her eyes as she tried to give him what he wanted. Her hips moved forward but she could do little but take. So she took and took and took again.
When the climax came, she felt as if she were flying apart. An instant later she felt him flex within her as he uttered a low groan.
His head sank against hers and he stayed there, chest heaving, shuddering as he tried to regain control. “I think…it was much easier when I thought only of my own pleasure. This…may kill me.”
She was too breathless to speak. She could only hold him and wait until strength returned.
He eased her to the ground and lay down beside her. He said nothing for a long time. “You’re right. It’s a very fine morning.”
She chuckled. “I’m happy you finally noticed.”
He unbound her braid and loosened her hair. “I was thinking of other things.”
“Yes, you were.”
He covered his lips with her hair. “I tried not to spend within you,” he whispered. “Each time I swear I’ll not give you my seed, and then I cannot—Forgive me.”
“It’s a little late for restraint,” she said. “When I came to you, I told you that I was prepared to let God decide the matter. I knew what you wanted of me.”
“I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want a child. Not if it means—You must help me. Make me leave your body before it’s too late.”
He had not changed his mind. He talked no more about a child, but at times, in his sleep, he would reach out and yearningly rub her belly as if she already held the prize he wanted within her. “Let God decide.”
He shook his head. “God sometimes seems unconcerned with our troubles. You must help me.”
“The decision may already be out of our hands. I may already be with child. We will talk of this again after I have my flux. Now, be silent and let me enjoy the sunshine.”
She supposed she should make some attempt to cover herself, but she felt wonderfully languid and didn’t want to move. The day was bright, their surroundings beautiful and peaceful, and she felt no shame in what they had just done. It had been as natural and beautiful as the sky overhead.
Perhaps too beautiful. No, she would not worry and take this lovely moment apart. She would accept and enjoy as long as it lasted.
As long as it lasted. Her gaze drifted toward the mountain where the man dwelt who might well put an end to this contentment. “Who is Vaden?”
At first she thought he was not going to answer her. “You know who he is. He’s the man who wants to kill me.” He paused. “And you.”
“But he didn’t kill us when he had the opportunity.”
“It was not the time. He has no desire to die himself.”
“Vaden of where? Where does he come from?”
He turned on his side to look at her. “Why are you so curious about Vaden?”
Because she sensed a bond between the two men that she could not comprehend. Even though this Vaden was a threat, Ware would not condemn him. “Surely, it’s understandable I’d want to know everything I could about a man you say may kill me.”
“Only if he could see no other way out,” he said quickly.
There it was again. He was defending Vaden. “Was he your friend?”
He gazed out at the mountains. “Closer than friends, he was my brother at the Temple.”
“Then why didn’t he help you escape?”
“He was away on a mission in Italy.”
“Would he have helped you?”
“I don’t know. I never knew what Vaden would do. Perhaps. He’s always torn between impulse and calculation. He’s a complicated man.”
Incredibly, there was no derision in his tone. “Loyalty isn’t complicated. It’s very simple.”
“You don’t understand.”
“No, I don’t. I don’t understand friends who try to butcher you.”
“There are higher loyalties. The Order was everything to Vaden. I used to joke with him about it.”
“Did it anger him?”
He shook his head. “But he believed in the Order. He needed it.”
“Why?”
“I’m not sure. Perhaps because he had no other roots. I think he’s illegitimate.”
“You don’t know?”
“He didn’t talk about it.”