Lion's Bride - Iris Johansen [79]
Jasmine nodded reluctantly. “But you must not tarry too long.” She moved past them toward the staircase.
Selene watched her before turning back to Thea. “She wishes you to go?”
“I’ve promised her a place once we have our own house. You’ll grow to like Jasmine.”
As Thea herself had grown to like her. She had developed a fondness for all these strange inhabitants of Dundragon. Jasmine, Abdul, even Tasza. And there was Haroun….
The pain was returning and it must be banished. Her life here was over. She must stop thinking of anything but her hope for the future. She opened the door of her chamber. The shutters were still open, and the room smelled fresh and cool and familiar.
“It is very grand, isn’t it?” Selene whispered, her eyes wide as her gaze traveled around the room. “This is all your own?”
“None of this is ours. It’s pleasant enough, but we don’t belong in castles.” She moved brusquely forward to close the window. “We’ll find a place far less grand for our own in Damascus.” She paused, looking down at the green where she had joined with Ware in passion earlier that day. How long would it be before she could subdue this aching regret?
“What are you going to make of the length of silk I brought you?” Selene asked. “A tunic?”
She was being foolish and weak. She must tie up all these painful, tattered ends and walk away. She firmly closed the shutter and latched it. “No, not a tunic. A banner.”
The linens of his bed still breathed of Thea, Ware realized as he lay in the darkness. Soap and lemon and the woman scent that was distinctly her own. He inhaled deeply, letting it flow into him. He would remember that fragrance if he lived a hundred years.
Not that there was a chance of that. He had beaten the odds too long. He would be fortunate to live another year. Every day was a gift.
As she had been a gift, beautiful and loyal, filled with life and vitality.
A gift he had taken and now must return.
No!
He closed his eyes and fought the rejection. He had known this moment would come, but he had not known it would be this difficult. He must smother this impulse to reach out and grab and hold on.
Once more. It would do no harm to have one more time before he sent her away.
Christ in heaven—no harm? When he lay here treasuring her scent on the sheets like a boy with his first woman? Let her go, you fool.
Let her be safe.
Let her live.
“Let me have that.” Kadar took the bucket of water from Thea and opened the door. “You should have one of the servants do this sort of task.” His gaze went to the cluster of mulberry trees. “I was surprised when Selene told me that these trees were here.”
“You’ve seen her this morning?”
“I made the mistake of promising her I’d show her my falcons. She was pounding on my door before I had a chance to break my fast.”
“She told me she was eager to see them.” She started down the path. “But, then, she was eager to see everything. I was going to start embroidering this morning and let Jasmine care for the trees, but I told her to show Selene the castle instead. I can begin on the silk this afternoon.” She shot him a glance. “Why are you surprised we planted the trees? The silk trade is very profitable.”
“As I saw in Constantinople. But Ware is no merchant.”
“Many lords dabble in the trade.”
“Ware is no dabbler.”
She shrugged. “You must be wrong. He wanted the trees.”
“Yes, he wanted the trees,” he murmured. “Curious.”
“I didn’t find it so.” They had reached the first tree, and she took the water from him. “It seemed very reasonable.”
“Because you’re blinded and dazzled by your silk.” He grimaced. “I saw thousands of worms devouring the leaves on the mulberry trees in Nicholas’s garden. I didn’t find it a pretty sight.”
“When you see what magic those worms weave…”
“I prefer to see the silk and not the process.” He watched her water the tree. “You are well?”
“Of course. Do I not look well?”
“Yes, I agree with Selene. You