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Avoiding the temptation to encourage others to follow your path

While every choice in your day may seem weighty as a vegan — from what to order for brunch to what shoes to buy — you may notice that the people you love aren’t so concerned with the impacts of their choices. It can be tempting to start encouraging people to make different choices and to explain why they’re doing something harmful. I remember saying things like “Did you know that your ham sandwich once had a mother?” or “That lady’s fur coat probably looked a lot better on the fox that first owned it.” These types of comments are not appreciated.

Instead, I discovered that most people don’t like being told what to do, and they really don’t like being told that their lifestyle is all wrong. Take note of how you feel when people discover how you eat and start making fun of you — does it make you want to stop being vegan and go back to what you were eating before? Certainly not! That’s why we need to be compassionate with our nonvegan friends and family. You need to have just as much compassion for them as for the animals you’re trying to save. Be passionate and steadfast, but also try to be gentle with others and yourself.

For example, instead of getting angry because your mother bought a new leather purse, take a moment and think about what she’s truly looking for in her choices. Be compassionate with her. Is your mother trying to update her style or make herself feel better about herself by purchasing new things? Try complimenting the style or color of her new purchase instead of insulting her because she bought leather. You could go online and print out pictures of other vegan purses and share them with her. Doing so could lead to a conversation where you not only get to share her love of fashion, but you also get the chance to delve deeper and ask whether she’s happy with how her life is going. Perhaps what she really needed was someone to compliment her on how nice she looks, or recognize how hard she has been trying to lose weight. Compassion means having love and understanding for another being. Loving your mom means offering her support. If you gently show her other ways to fulfill her desires to look more attractive, she may be more interested in how fashionable vegan clothes are or how a vegan diet could help her lose even more weight.

Determining your way of being compassionate

There are many ways to be compassionate and kind in this life. Living a vegan life is a tremendous step away from a life that’s based on cruelty toward animals and the earth. You may decide to simply live a quiet vegan life for the rest of your days. You won’t offer information about your lifestyle unless you’re asked about it. And even then, you’ll project kindness no matter what. You could also feel so strongly about the injustices caused by the meat-and-dairy-based diet you abandoned that you feel compelled to speak up and encourage others to make similar changes.

Choose the way that’s right for you. We each have strengths that can lead to positive transformations in the world. You may write a best-selling book or make a movie that causes thousands of people to change their lives. You may cook healthy vegan food for your friends, which in turn may cause a few people to eat less meat and dairy. You may raise your children to be lifelong vegans. Each path is a good one. Be kind to others who have chosen their own paths.

The Whole Enchilada: Yoking Your Mind, Body, and Spirit with the Earth

We live in a highly mechanized, isolating culture of technical communication and fewer and fewer authentic human interactions. So becoming vegan is often a natural response that people have to feeling that they want to connect with something good in the world. Becoming vegan also can be the first step toward living a fully integrated life where you see the connections between your career, lifestyle, diet, and the state of the world.

Meeting other vegans and participating in gatherings centered on food or a love for animals brings new friends into your