Living Vegan For Dummies - Alexandra Jamieson [121]
Graciously accepting dinner party invitations
You have two possible scenarios to choose from with any invitation: to go or not to go. Of course, only you can decide the best option for you.
Perhaps you don’t want to go, but you’re worried about how to nicely decline. Rather than admitting that you don’t want to encounter all the meat and dairy at the party, politely respond that you aren’t able to attend because of a conflict. Let the host know that you would have loved to attend, if only your calendar had been free. The super polite vegan will go the extra mile and check back to inquire how the party went afterward.
Assuming you’ve decided to accept the invite to a friend’s party, the following sections give you some ideas to keep in mind when attending a nonvegan event.
Talk to your host politely before your meal
Contact your host in person as soon as possible after receiving an invitation. Warmly accept the invite and mention that you don’t eat certain foods and that you were wondering whether you could talk about the menu with him. If he offers to include a vegan dish for you, politely gush about how gracious he is. If he doesn’t, accept the invitation anyway and plan accordingly.
When a host has been kind enough to include a vegan diet for you at his celebration, be sure to thank him for his consideration at the event. Sending a thank-you note in the mail or via e-mail after the party shows truly lovely vegan etiquette.
Contributing to the feast
Bringing a vegan dish to a party is a great way to break the ice. Make sure you talk with the host or hostess well in advance to ensure that you can appropriately work your food into the evening. If the dinner is built around a certain theme, bring a vegan dish that works well with that cuisine and its aromas. It could be offensive to the other guests’ senses if you brought a spicy Chinese dish to a dinner based on milder French herbs and foods.
If the meal is small and casual, putting a couple extra dishes on the buffet won’t be a big deal. If the dinner is slightly more formal with servers or courses, plan in advance to bring the dish and work it into the flow of the meal. Check with the hostess about serving dishes, too. She may not have enough platters or serving trays for your extra dishes. In that case, you could bring something with similar colors to work your food into the night seamlessly.
Keeping cool in a crowd of nonvegans
When dining with omnivores at an event, be sure to keep your judgments to yourself. While you may be disgusted with their lobster carcass or bloody steak, making comments about their choices only draws negative attention to yourself and opens the door for a verbal sparring match. Most people don’t like being told what to eat or how their choices are “wrong,” and nagging rarely wins converts to the vegan lifestyle.
If you’re offered a nonvegan dish, you can politely pass with a simple “No, thank you,” and leave it at that. If a vegan option is offered to you, reinforce the party planner’s decision by commenting on how much you liked the dish and how nice it was to find something so yummy and vegan that you could enjoy. This compliment reminds the host to continue offering vegan dishes at future events.
If anyone gives you a hard time while you’re out in mixed company, keep your cool and remember the following:
Count to ten and breathe deeply. Think about whether this is truly the time or place to freak out or offer a finely placed verbal comeback.
Laugh the comment off amiably and change the subject to someone else. People like others who can take a joke.
Take the high road and refuse to be rude in return. Setting a good example for behavior encourages others to keep a rude person in line.
Don’t take it personally. The other person may have had a rotten day, or he may just